Thursday, September 30, 2010

Circulation

The highly vascularized circulation in the mouth is what makes a cut on the tongue or oral mucosa bleed profusely. Interestingly enough, it's that same highly vascularized circulation that helps the mouth heal quite well if it is cut or if the mucosa is damaged.

I just thought it was curious that the same thing that makes it bleed, is the same thing that makes it heal.

More than one thing works this way in the human experience.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Portland Head Light

Portland Head Light
If you ever make it to Maine, take the time to visit one of the most photographed Lighthouses is the Portland Head Light, tucked away by the edge of Fort Williams Park in Cape Elizabeth, just outside of South Portland. Lit in 1791 and automated in 1989, I'll let you read the sordid details if you hit the jump on the Blog Title.


There is a nearby Lighthouse Museum and you can walk around the park, and there aren't many ways to better spend a New England afternoon.

I had to rush down after work, and they'll kick you out of the park at sunset, so this was taken just as they lit the Lighthouse. For those of you looking for technical information, it has been recommended by one of my respected readers to make a separate blog just for stuff like that: HERE. I ran out of time, so this was about it for the keepers. When I go back there will be more.

It is not the exotic locale or beauty like this that make the most compelling argument to join a place, but it is the people with which hopes are shared and pain is diffused that makes a place missed when one goes away. After my jaunt, I stopped by the house of a family that has taught me just that. We simply visited in their living room, and if they were ever to be located in the likes of barren Southwest, they would make an oasis of it. I am learning, even at my age, of friendship, and expectations, my own selfishness, living and hoping, what it means to really take something personally, and put one's care into something, because even if it hurts, there is no other way to live or be. Because only in death is there apathy. In life there is hope and disappointment, fear and courage, pain and healing, colors and words. The experiences of life that prompts its own perpetuation and reaching for of Something higher.

Nothing profound today. Just enjoying the sunset and the friendships. Elissa, your people miss you here. We know you're doing what you have to do, but you won't be home soon enough.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Discovery

The difference between honesty and Truth is that honesty is relative to what one can see. Truth is independent of whether we can see it or not. Honesty holds on to Truth, but only can wrap our limited sight around a portion of it. More on this idea later.

And to be honest, I would love to make a living being a portrait photographer. One of my most cherished compliments is a friend of mine exclaiming, "I don't know what you did with that photograph but you made me look beautiful!" But what started long ago, built on ambitious unbridled youth to find visual aesthetics, grew into a wonder at finding honesty, the way one sits on the porch by an elderly sage, listening to history, except seeing with the eyes, the history of the person in their face, not just the features but the expression.

The same goes with an interview. If I had to choose whether I could tell entertaining stories or conduct a meaningful interview, I would choose the interview every single time. Because although a good story makes the hearer see something new, gives a new experience, a good interview makes the person being interviewed tell their own story, no matter how incapable a story-teller they think they are. The interview overturns old cobwebs in the mind's history of a self unexamined for years, and though lived some time ago, now is able to live again, with the added experience of wisdom collected from the time of occurrence to the current time of insight. It gives a chance to see things again, maybe more clearly this time. And the recollection is just as strong in feeling, just as vivid in color, but many times more meaningful.

A good portrait is a visual interview. The same way in which an interview is not just about the one being interviewed but is truly a tango, foxtrot or waltz between them and the interviewer, for the interview is a conversation of exploration, where the asker is the explorer and the interviewee is the guide. Both discovering, unearthing treasures, similar to both, but peculiar to each. The meaningfulness of each discovery is flavored with the honest scrutiny of the interviewer themselves. There is no getting away from it, for the interviewee is not the one asking themselves questions. The interviewer brings some of themselves to the table. And the same is true for the portrait. The photographer puts a little of himself into each portrait, and in a way, they dance together, the subject and the artist. And what everyone sees is not simply an individual but interplay, a cooperation of two people to the music they both hear. And we see the dance.

5D Mark II, 70-200 f/2.8L IS @78mm, 1/200 sec., f/8, ISO 1600, 2x 580EX II (shoot thru, bounce)

Epilogue:

Where did all this come from? For my birthday, I shuttled off to Portland, where I, unbeknownst the promptings of my friend, indulged myself in some (vegan) ice cream, turned off my cellphone, and walked around the park and spent some time with myself, drove back to my apartment, I took out a book entitled, 'Visual Poetry' by Chris Orwig, and began, not at the beginning but on the section about portraits. Now I am done with technical books, and for me to pick up another book on photography it had to be special. Engrossed, I became more so over time and spent the final several hours of my birthday looking inside and wondering outside. And I forgot to eat, and I forgot to sleep, but I let my mind wander unbridled for just a bit of time. And it ran away.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Two Lights

Two Light State Park, Cape Elizabeth, Maine
Location scouting for an upcoming photo shoot. You'd think I didn't have a day job. But I have the opportunity to do the senior portraits for one of the guys in our youth group. How's that for a connection, right?! So I found myself at Cape Elizabeth, on a high contrast day. But looks like it has really good potential, I guess it can work. Smaller of the State Parks in Cape Elizabeth, so consequently less people. I like that better, no one meddles with the gear.

Something has to be said for Coastal Maine. Now if I could just find a decent lighthouse to shoot...

Travel Light

Try it some time.

Take a plane trip without a carry-on. Of any kind.

On my recent trip to California, they had me check in my carry-on because it they didn't have any over head room. Reassured that my carry-on and its contents were checked to my final destination, I didn't worry. Until my last leg got canceled in San Francisco, and I was rerouted to Los Angeles. No carry-on on my arrival. But no worries, I didn't need it for weekend, per se.

What it did was give me a little of an experience I've always wanted to do. On my way home from California, I had no carry-on, with nothing in my pockets except my passport, some cash, an debit car, driver's license, and my cellphone (with charger). And my trusty camera.

The mobility was remarkable, which added a new dimension to the trip. Stairs were fun again. I wasn't worried about making it through security check, or hustling to my connecting flight. I had lots of chances to take advantage of this previously unexperienced freedom. Dallas, La Guardia (as of today, officially my most detestable airport ever!), Portland. I was a lighter traveler. It was wonderful! No toting things around, finding overhead compartments, trucking rolling baggage to the restroom. I could eat where I wanted, roam the shops, and I was free to move about the terminal without any baggage (now if that isn't a metaphor, I don't know what is). Although I wasn't sure when I'd see my camera gear, laptop, and car-keys, I wasn't terribly concerned. It wasn't my lack of planning that put me at this fortunate inconvenience, so I had no doubt God's Providence would take care of the details. Besides, even if I did stress, it wasn't going to let me retrieve my things sooner. This bearable lightness of being was such a remarkable experience, I didn't even have a backpack, just whatever I could slip into my pockets! If every travel experience could be like this! I realized that we pack our carry-on for convenience not necessity. If we could only realize that many of our necessities are really conveniences and work towards traveling instead of hauling around those conveniences, we'd be only more efficient travelers, but more able to experience the journey....

Next time: International travel without a carry-on!!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Mundane Travel Log

So in San Francisco there is this phenomenon of low lying clouds that makes for picturesque photographs of buildings along the bay, but makes for inconvenient travel.

Apparently SFO (San Francisco International Airport) lands incoming aviatory traffic along two parallel runways. But when those otherwise gorgeous clouds line the atmosphere, SFO commonly decides to reduce traffic to a single runway. How this can be maintained in the order of normal business I do not claim to know. I do, however, know first hand of the resulting delay. What would have been a short jaunt across the continental US turned into a collection of delays at SFO that doubled the actual travel time and turned the expected arrival time of 1:21pm at the convenient Ontario International Airport into a major excursion with an arrival into LAX, the gateway to the Far East, at 11:00pm (and is currently being adjust for delays as I write this)!

This excursion included a connecting flight in the obscure town of Bakersfield, California. I don't know the population, but it is large enough to have a single terminal, 6 gate airport.

But small airports are not without their advantages as everything is in really close proximity to one another. The little deli sports non-dairy smoothies that would belittle larger cities. With the man behind the counter pumping out the ethnic East Indian music peculiar to that region, the deli seems more like a hole-in-the-wall Mom & Pop's joint that you might see in rural New England.

A quick run downstairs places you square in the middle of gate 6, and a saunter across the main hall the size of many larger airport's breezeway is a dignified lounge with comfy cloth seats and wooden computer desks. At this hour there is only one other traveler, and there is even the free wireless network, a convenience coveted by those travelers accustomed to larger venues.

All in all a surprise oasis out in the middle of inland California, a region that usually sports dry arid cropland and not much else.

And small airports mean smaller crowds and personal attendance by the airport staff. If that doesn't make you feel like a million bucks, you probably make more than a million bucks.

Oops, did they just announce another flight delay into LA? Sigh, the conveniences of modern travel... Already I miss where I left and I haven't even arrived at where I'm going.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Charming at any age

Where does it go when they get older? You see it when they're little and wish they'd just hold on to it forever.

What I'm talking about is that innocent charm that is just so winning. I'm talking about that easy trust and how quickly it turned from suspicion. I'm talking about the fact that I didn't have to perform any song and dance to earn it.

What I'm talking about is an ordinary 2 year old little girl who, when I entered, looked at me with initial wonder and a glance to her mom let me know that she needed at least some reassurance. I wasn't about to win this girl's affection any time soon. Or so I thought.

I spoke to girl in a smaller voice, but like an adult. I don't believe in baby talk for ANYONE, no matter if you were just born today. So I spoke with her and talked her through some of the exam of her tender ears, delicate nose and sore throat. She didn't seem to mind being reassured by my words at least. But things got worse when we had to test her throat. She fought and turned and loudly vocalized her pain. But it was at the end of the test confirmation and discussing diagnosis and treatment with the mom, I made my salutation to leave, giving a wide birth and waving bye after that troublesome throat swab.

But when her mom asked her to give me a high-five, she reached out and said, "a hug, a hug!" What a pleasent child! I leaned over and a gave this little child a hug, and was greeted with, "no, a kiss!" How could you not be charmed by that! I leaned over and showed my cheek, on which she planted what felt like a butterfly's delicate caress. I can still feel it now!

And I wondered where all this goes when they grow up. Beat down with cynicism, and heart ache, and cares of growing up, no doubt. Maybe I'm simple like that. Because I wasn't charmed by cleverness and wit, and humor, and adventure, nor by a well-baked dessert or entree.

The seduction was by her unaffected tenderness, warmth and affection ...without an agenda. Just because she had it to give. And she wanted to give it to me.

Boy I love my job.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Solidarity

sol • i • dar • i • ty |ˌsäləˈde(ə)ritē|
noun
unity or agreement of feeling or action, esp. among individuals with a common interest; mutual support within a group

At its deepest core, it is a union deeper than sympathy and empathy. Let me give you examples:

Sympathy - When someone tells you they broke a rib.
Empathy - When someone tells you they broke a rib, when you recently broke a rib too.
Solidarity - When someone tells you they broke a rib, and it's your Siamese twin.

It doesn't get closer than that.

To put one's self in another's shoes and to feel their pain, only then can we be moved with enough compassion to seek true reconciliation. This is the idea behind John 1:14, and 2 Cor 5:21

...and the two shall be one flesh ...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Development

One of the most difficult things to learn for those of us who like our options wide open is to formulate a plan. That being said, a more difficult thing to learn is when to appropriately change it. We work so hard and are so driven and ambitious, that we make a plan for what we term success and head straight towards it. We consider contingencies and alternatives, anticipating difficulties along the way, hopefully with our eyes wide open. We rarely consider when it's time for plan B. B for bailout, like with a parachute. Or not. Just a cutting of one's losses.

At some time, wisdom dictates that it is time not only change an approach but to head for a different airport all together. I think what makes old age so ... um ... old is the loss of the ability to not only roll with the punches but also to change venues. Adaptability and exploration, and freshness with unlimited horizons. Piqued curiosities and wonderment. And the excitement that comes with them. These are what keeps the number on your driver's license false, as the years go. I see this all the time in my patients, and you can see why their parents are getting old.

Experience and time, yes, must provide wisdom and quite possibly a tempering of this youthful fervor, but never its suppression. Maybe make the focus more efficient and energy more directed, sure. But that is a different topic.

At some point, plans may need to be scrapped, maps and compasses have to be reconsulted, and new ground work must be laid. With the addition of the items from this previous post: HERE, a decision has be made, not an option consider, but deliberate action taken to redirect one's course.

It might mean after a lifetime of going, it's time to come. Or after a time of blindness, it's time to look. A time give, a time to ask. A time to recreate, a time to labour.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" - Ecclesiastes 3:1

Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Brother

Lets you plan their whole weekends.
Meets all your friends, loves them all, and helps you love them better.
Analyzes concepts and interactions to exhaustion, and then comes back to it for more.
Knows what you find important.
Puts up with everything they know about you, and then some.
Doesn't mind the current living situation.
Understands why you think a certain way, even when he disagrees with you.
Sees where you're going and knows why you're staying.
Tells you you're better at things when he knows he is.
Carries the conversation when you can't ... or won't.
Makes you think you're smarter even when he is.


Makes sure the important messages from your sister come through, even when the MMS messages fail to come across the phone network (Jen, resend it, I want to see it, it's HUGE NEWS!)

I love you, Audree. Thanks for coming and learning about my little paradise in New England.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Time and Space

So it doesn't take a Hawking or a Feynman to realize that when time compresses, it gleans the important from the trivial. And you realize what your duty is and who you value, not because they come to you in crises, but because you reach out to them in a crunch, when time is running out.

Now if I could just get the catheter in and the IV fluids started, the TPN bag will have to wait...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Repertoire and Synthesis

Title: Repertoire and Synthesis
Important: Learners and Teachers, Anybody

Concept: The focus of this entry is the way we collect information (intellectual, factual, emotional, etc.) and how we process it and use it, and then how we synthesize information. By synthesize, I mean putting seemingly unrelated parts together.

Examples of this are taking what you learn in Physics class and applying it to what you learn in English class, and then coming up with a (sometimes novel) conclusion. A strong example of this would be Barry in medical school. I use Barry here because he is starting out. Daniel will come later, he's a year ahead of Barry. Drew will come even later because he's a year ahead of Daniel. David just graduated, he's a more special case, we'll see later.

Barry must learn information that has been collected and refined from the last 160 years or so. He is not to make his own ideas of what medicine is at this current stage. He is building his repertoire of information about biochemistry, micro-anatomy, gross anatomy, patient behavior, etc.

What he must do in addition is make secondary and tertiary connections. This will be assisted by two things:

1) Bigger repertoire (larger knowledge base)
2) Intimacy with said repertoire

The sooner he learns and becomes intimate with the medical knowledge of ages past, the more secondary and tertiary connections he can make. It's like playing Clue. Instead of rooms, you have disease, instead of weapons you have treatment, instead of characters you have specialties (this analogy is actually a rough one, excuse the incongruencies). A simple secondary connection would be connecting of information learned in micro-anatomy (striated muscle cells in histology) with that learned in gross anatomy (muscle tissue). A more complex one would be connecting biochemistry (Kreb cycle) with liver biochemistry, organic chemistry and gross anatomy. Connecting these three with pathophysiology (2nd year Med) is still a secondary connection, albeit more complex.

A tertiary connection is a connection made between two secondary connections. This takes work. But is necessary for Step I boards. (Yeah, that's you, Daniel.)

There are some classes that transcend mere collection of information. These classes are similar in fashion: law, writing, math, to name a few. These are fundamental, but lexicon is still necessary.

Then there is history. It is a meta-analysis of sorts. In effect, it has potential for us to look at the way we look at medicine. (That's why the 'meta'.)

Ok, that being said, the BEST example is Words:

For our first few years, we learns sounds (we cooed, and giggled and ahhhed), but when we spoke intelligible words, our parent's eyes lit up and we kept doing it until we spoke. Go, ball, me, yes, NO! all single syllable items of our repertoire. And before you know it we were putting two items together in a repertoire. We were synthesizing, if you will. No remember (back when you were 2 years old) that you didn't need a large repertoire in order to begin synthesizing. It simply happened out of need for efficiency and communication. I... want ... food. The synthesis of these three items of repertoire (vocabulary words) produces a clear communication to the listener. What is less clear was the cry you emitted 1.5 years early, when none of us except our mothers could figure out what it meant, were you wet, hungry, tired, sick?

So as our repertoire of words enlarges, we can make secondary connections better: we form sentences. Then it gets more complex. We must move to tertiary connections. The idea of a sentence (secondary connection) must connect with the idea of another sentence. Why so? To be clear(er). We make connections to understand and be understood. One of the most difficult and lonely places to be is to be in the middle of a group of people and not be understood, especially when you have a need like a tooth ache or think Appendicitis in Tanzania, unless you're fluent in Medical Swahili, you're stuck.

But it get's better. Not just a mere connection of words (sentences, secondary connection of items of repertoire), but now their aesthetic, words choice, diction, all must communicate not just intellectual information but a sense, a feeling. Two examples: John, Adri. (if you want to add more repertoire, take these two as well, Christy and Lauren, they've added photos.)

Poetry and Prose, complex feelings of gratitude and humor, nebulous ideas in our collection of The Human Experience, that is necessary to share, else we would die of solitary confinement. This idea is something we all CRAVE: Intimacy, to know and be known. It is the final product of love in its truest sense:

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." -  I Corinthians 13:12

Remember, looking at words and understanding its connection, we can apply that to every other way we learn information (emotional, intellectual, factual). Barry, Daniel and Drew, MUST learn their repertoire and synthesize. All of you getting your Bachelor's, you are learning your repertoire. Graduate Students must, and begin to senthesize. Parents do it inadvertently. We all do. We just don't take a meta-glance at it the way we're doing here.

Which brings us to the reception of Spiritual Truth.... stay tuned...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Priorities

Priorities.

Every so often, you have to stop and take inventory.

Mine would happen between travel assignments. At the end of an assignment, I had to clean out the place I was staying and throw out the clutter, and decide exactly what I needed for where I was going. What could I not do without, and what could get tossed. Could I take my bike? Must I have this piece of equipment? On and on the list was trimmed, and I learned more than just what I could live with, but what you couldn't live without. And this happened EVERY time I switched assignments. Colorado, Alaska, Arizona, California, Vermont.

Now that doesn't only work with clutter, or home items. It has to do with emotions, and ambitions, and duties, and values. What ambitions am I just holding onto because of pride and preference, or vindictiveness or pain? What values do I have that really make a difference. And you choose what you value.

And it comes down to that all important question: what's important?

We can give trite answers, but it's the time alone, when no one is looking and the people who have the most influence on your decisions are gone or away or no longer count in your life that you get to take a deep breath and sigh. And look at that list again, and even educate that list. What values can't I live without, and what inconveniences can I live with?

So what prompted this, since I'm done with my current assignment? I'm cleaning out my apartment, my brother's coming over to visit (from California).

Sunday, September 5, 2010

If you've ever loved (or found yourself close to) an INTP

So, we've been told that INTP's make up an estimated <1% of the general population. How fortunate for us that Metallak found 3 of us in the same island for that week (and if the newly wed Howe's had been there, it would have made a whopping 4, almost overwhelming!).

For those of you who've ever been close to one, hit the site linked to the title of this entry. Or you can check HERE, which isn't so complete, but I'm working on it. By "close to" I mean married to, siblings of, infatuated with, interested in, work with, curious about, find enjoyable, or live in close quarters with, an INTP.

It may unravel some of the mystery of our personality. We're not as mysterious as some (INFJ) but we are systematic about it, so you should be able to get an answer out of us. We might seem a little indecisive, but it's only to maintain options, except in those instances where we have learned to incorporate the trait of being decisive and using it where we see its usefulness and efficiency.

And we love insight. So go ahead and ask a question, HERE. And take us to task. Ask us why we do such a thing, or what the reason is behind it. We're generally self aware, and if not a ready answer is available, we can think through it and give a decent first impression.

Here are two INTP blogs (apart from mine, of course): Cody, Christy - They might seem dissimilar but share some characteristics: Integrity with their values, exceptional use of vocabulary/diction/grammer, and even vernacular, insightful, among others.

Hopefully this will help you enjoy your local INTP and understand them better :-)

Sleep Deprivation: Symptoms and Treatment

10 Symptoms noted in sleep deprivation: 

1) Thermal dysregulation
2) Hypersensory perception of distal extremities
3) Serotonin depletion with resulting non-constructive thought perseveration
4) Reticence
5) Loss of appetite
6) Misconstruance of otherwise harmless comments
7) Failure to reason from cause to effect
8) Inefficient recall
9) Inaccurate enumeration

Treatment:

Obedience

There and Back Again

21:01 Leave Youth meeting
21:26 Rest Stop
23:27 Back on the Road
23:58 Welcome to New Hampshire
00:37 Welcome to Maine
01:55 Pulled over for speeding; Let go with warning
02:35 Arrive Apartment, Augusta, Maine

Plan (subject to change)

04:35 Bring Matt to Airport
08:00 Breakfast
Sunday PM Freeport Photo Critique

Started on the road.
Finished on my Blackberry.
It's a bit of madness really.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Saturday, September 4, 2010

What it takes

03:25 - Leave Augusta, Maine
05:21 - Bienvenidos a New Hampshire
06:26 - St. Johnsbury, Vermont
07:08 - Downtown Morrisville

It takes about 3 hrs and 40 min to drive from Augusta, Maine to Morrisville SDA Church. If you drive early morning, which I'm finding is preferrable.

No hurricane here. Summer showers on the way, though. And some really nice clouds to texture the sky. God is merciful. The suit's in the car. Just in time to teach Sabbath School... Here goes!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

It is the longing of the heart

to be at peace with God.

The rain falls outside. They tell us that we are getting the edge of a hurricane here in Maine.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Crunch time

8:30a - 5:30p            Work
6:30p - 10:30p          Dinner with Matt, Kaveh, Heather, Chris
10:45p - 2:00a          Sleep
3:00a - 9:00a            Drive to Vermont
9:15a - 10:45a          Teach Sabbath School - Morrisville SDA Church
11:00 - 12:30p          Speak for Divine Service
12:45p - 1:30p         Fellowship lunch

This is where it gets tricky

2:00p - 8:00p           Drive back to Augusta, Maine
8:00p - Whenever - Hang out with Matt before he leaves
3:30a -                     Drive Matt to Airport

Happy Sabbath!

Listen

To Listen :

To obey.                    e.g. My son never listens to me.

To understand.          e.g. We argue all the time; it doesn't seem like you listen to me.

To pay attention to.   e.g. Listen to this!


Listen (it's about attention):

The active attention given for the purpose of reception, that a current action may be affirmed or corrected.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Influence

Often times the reason that our lives are changed by the people that are introduced into our paths by Providence is because of us. WE are looking to be instructed in something better, looking for a change from our current state of being, we are looking to be elevated. THIS is God given, by the way.

More, after the jump (hit link below)...