...with a single step. I didn't think I'd ever be putting up a blog about my own life. It's just life. That first step starts right here.
When you're used to sharing your thoughts and dreams with someone and now they've decided to share their life with someone else, it leaves you feeling a little empty handed, or left out to dry. Or better yet holding a bag of groceries and no where to put it down.
I tried really hard for a long time, to keep to myself. I was used to coming and going, touching bases with old friends, and then off again on my travels. It was good at the time, and I thought it would always be that way. Until something happens, and despite your very best efforts, someone special convinces you to open up to them. Vulnerability is displayed when disclosure happens, and a sort of freedom comes albeit little by little. But what occurs then is not dissimilar to expanding one's mind. Never again will my mind shrink bank to the small proportions it once was some time ago. Like learning to read, initially those angular markings become familiar letters, which group together to form words, and ideas, and meaning. And once this happens, you'll never be able to look at certain markings without automatically formulating a words, such as cat, and seeing a thought come into your head. It's not something you forget like a fact. It is a formulation of familiarity that gives meaning.
Disclosure and vulnerability become, not a fact of memory, but a familiar pattern of habit that brings comfort and order out of situations that aren't comfortable or familiar. That's why we like to talk things out, or talk with someone about things going on in our lives.
But since the repository has now moved on, being vulnerable can no longer be safe. For why would I open up to someone who is emotionally with someone else?
"But I want to know how you are doing?"
So now the reason for this blog, and consequently the web address: How I am doing. If you want to know how I am doing, come to see: HowIamdoing.blogspot.com - if you want more, drop me a comment.
When you're used to sharing your thoughts and dreams with someone and now they've decided to share their life with someone else, it leaves you feeling a little empty handed, or left out to dry. Or better yet holding a bag of groceries and no where to put it down.
I tried really hard for a long time, to keep to myself. I was used to coming and going, touching bases with old friends, and then off again on my travels. It was good at the time, and I thought it would always be that way. Until something happens, and despite your very best efforts, someone special convinces you to open up to them. Vulnerability is displayed when disclosure happens, and a sort of freedom comes albeit little by little. But what occurs then is not dissimilar to expanding one's mind. Never again will my mind shrink bank to the small proportions it once was some time ago. Like learning to read, initially those angular markings become familiar letters, which group together to form words, and ideas, and meaning. And once this happens, you'll never be able to look at certain markings without automatically formulating a words, such as cat, and seeing a thought come into your head. It's not something you forget like a fact. It is a formulation of familiarity that gives meaning.
Disclosure and vulnerability become, not a fact of memory, but a familiar pattern of habit that brings comfort and order out of situations that aren't comfortable or familiar. That's why we like to talk things out, or talk with someone about things going on in our lives.
But since the repository has now moved on, being vulnerable can no longer be safe. For why would I open up to someone who is emotionally with someone else?
"But I want to know how you are doing?"
So now the reason for this blog, and consequently the web address: How I am doing. If you want to know how I am doing, come to see: HowIamdoing.blogspot.com - if you want more, drop me a comment.
dear elwyn, who left who? all of the times that i reached out for someone else or left the country you had ceased from communicating to me or had told me directly that you didn't want me around. like the time in Sacramento. i miss you so much and i can't communicate to you, so now i am writing blogs on your page hoping that you read it. i feel like you have forgotten about me. please talk. if you will only give me one last conversation, please give it to me now. -melanie
ReplyDeletesome people might call that karma
ReplyDeleteHmm.
ReplyDelete