Amazingly Aware

The Walla Walla Valley

2012-02-07T01:35:00.001-05:00

Farm house in the Walla Walla Valley. Behind are the Blue Mountains.

Facing west to the setting sun, the Walla Walla Valley is comprised of farmland and more recently vineyards.

... yet will I trust Him ...

2011-11-13T02:53:00.001-05:00

The second remarkable thing one may notice when meeting Caitlin is her concern for others in the middle of her own affliction. Kind of Job-like. Yes, the one in the Bible. I say second because it was some time after I noticed her extremely well-shaped head and figure, with lines that were asking to be photographed, that I asked if she would be willing to sit for a photo shoot. It was then I had a chance to talk to her and in between shutter clicks, her trust in God and concern for others beyond her own condition, quickly eclipsed her comely appearance. Please drop by her blog where several snippets of her story she writes with more eloquence than I can do justice:

http://wisteriamelody.blogspot.com/

Caitlin was kind and gracious in response to my request, and easily pleasant to speak with. Her story she told in a manner that was matter-of-fact, almost as if she was talking about the weather outside on a walk to the mailbox. If you can imagine, her voice in melody is hauntingly wonderful, as any I have ever heard, yes, even those that I have paid large amounts of money for. If you ever get a chance, please sit down and talk with her. Listen to her speak of God and His care for her, her friends, and her life. Your spirits will be encouraged, and your situation will appear simple and little. And if the stars align and you ever get to hear her sing a cappella, you might want to remind yourself to breathe and pick your jaw up off the floor. And when you're done with the visit, you might wonder if you just walked by a south facing window in an otherwise dark tunnel; the light shining from it makes the rest of the tunnel a little easier to see.

Sunset at Acadia National Park, Bar Harbor, Maine

2011-08-14T13:31:00.000-04:00

Acadia National Park is a remarkable place up in the Northern New England Region. I had the opportunity to bring my parent's there yesterday for Sabbath. They are visiting from Southern California, and drove more than 3200 miles. I was happy we had a good showing. My mom doesn't have the reputation for being a hiker by any stretch of the imagination, but decided it was fine walking around the rocks at the top of Cadillac Mountain. Arguably the highest, Eastern most point in the United States (those who argue say Puerto Rico is ... uh, ok.), it is rumored that if you sit at its peak and await the sunrise, you'll be the first American living in the U.S. to be kissed by the rays of the sun. I'd like to try it some time.

In the mean time, we took the driving tour (we only had a Sabbath afternoon), and my parent's learned the beauty of Vacationland, and "the way life should be." We couldn't watch the sunrise, but they were game enough to sit around during my intervalometric shenanigans (I used a stop-watch and released the shutter on my old 5D every 30 seconds, then put it together on my computer), while I captured the sunset. We closed the Sabbath, then off to home.

Things I learned from shooting Shawn's Promo (Click Title to see on Vimeo).

2011-07-17T11:47:00.001-04:00

Last weekend, Shawn Brace, Temple Bragg, and I had a whirlwind of an afternoon coordinating the shooting of this video for Shawn's new book. He's a pastor up in Bangor, Maine, and his Website is : newenglandpastor.blogspot.com in case you didn't make it to the end of the video. Temple is a teacher in Williston, Vermont, originally from North Conway in New Hampshire. Both were not only great sports (and supportive) of my amateur endeavor, but very patient and cooperative. It was a good team. And Shawn used no cue-cards, and performed in a minimal number of takes. I had an inquiry from a friend, whose comment prompted an response I thought would make a good post:

Things I learned (or at least were reinforced, if I had known them before):

1) Planning is 80% of the shoot
2) Planning keeps you on budget
3) A good slider (that tool that allows me to pan smoothly sidewas on the praying, hat, and candle shots) adds the most creativity for your money, dollar for dollar.
4) Just like still photography, post-production is a key element. More so in video, because you have to match the color gradings.
5) A class in still photography composition translates well to video better than people realize, take one if you can (or learn strong photographic composition from independent study).
6) Support is so important, even more than in still photography. Get a good tripod and fluid head. Don't cut corners in this area. Period.
7) Story board it well before you break out the camera. Shawn and I talked for about 6 six weeks prior to the shoot (which lasted all of 5 hrs).
8) Remember to shoot for the cut, allow 3 seconds prior to the take as well as 3 seconds following.
9) Composition in video involves multiple things: form, color, but also motion.
10) Secure your location before the shoot (Temple and I waited outside for some time because I didn't secure the keys to the church.)
11) Longer focal lengths (70mm or longer) produced a more dramatic effect on a short slider. If you can afford only a 24" slider, keep that in mind. We shot all our slider shots on nothing less than 100mm.

So a habit I'm trying to form is to follow up a project (or my day) in a review with the intent to take an honest look at it and seek for ways to make improvements.

Things I can improve on during for my next video:

1) Although Shawn's shot was technically ok, a more dynamic shot might be needed. Maybe some motion pulling back or something.
2) Storyboard, storyboard, storyboard ... oh, and more elaborate shot list.
3) Lighting for color balance.
4) Take more shots than you think you need (see #2)
5) Use a shot-gun, off camera mic., and monitor the ambient sound.

If there are other things you all can think of (to help improve the video) after you watched it, send it in comments.

And please check out Shawn's book (it may be the gift you're looking for to give yourself or someone else).

Manifestion of Truth

2011-06-23T12:06:00.000-04:00

cul·ture /ˈkʌltʃər/ Show Spelled [kuhl-cher] Show IPA noun, verb, -tured, -tur·ing.

noun

1. the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc.

We come in contact and influence many people. As Adventist, I think we make the mistake of introducing them to the culture of Adventism without introducing them to those Truths that give us distinction. The only thing that some people know of Adventists are that they don't eat meat, and some do, and they go into the medical field, and some don't, and they play Rook on Saturday night, not many own TV's, we make haystacks, and go hiking or sleeping on Saturday afternoon. And sometimes they find out that we are friendly and happy and healthy, always attend Church on the day that the best children's cartoons are on TV.

With that exposure, they seem to love the people, and find a community, and decide they want to become baptized, believing they are 'converting' to the Seventh-day Adventist faith, when in actuality, they are merely seeking to be part of the Adventist culture.

While the true culture of a society stems from the Truths that said society regards as important, if we mistake the reception of Culture for the reception of Truth, then the little trials that come which separate the people from their community will also remove their handle on the Truth.

Our Truths must not only be integrated into and be displayed in our culture, but must be spoken of with a distinction that we respect them, not that we are afraid of those Truths that not only make us free, but give us Strength, Peace and a peculiarity that must be awe-inspiring.

I spoke with a gentleman friend of mine, and in conversation realized that he didn't know why he was vegetarian except for the fact that Ellen White says. I was afraid for him, but realize that many of use have grown up in the culture, which now has become our own Pop Culture, instead of what it should be: an outward manifestation of the Truths that we have been called to uphold with reverence and affection.

With the reception of Adventism merely as a culture and not as a Movement of Truth, then the Bible is reduced to a good book of suggestions instead of our Life. Ellen White is reduced to a prolific writer who some pejoratively declare as their 'favorite author,' instead of the Prophet of the Lord. If that token were applied to Christ's day, would Zecheriah be Ezra and Nehemiah's 'favorite author'? Would John the Baptist be merely a 'controversial speaker' that knows how to strike enthusiasm into a crowd of people craving for Nationalistic identity?

with the reception of Adventism merely as a culture, our choice of food merely becomes a diet, our healthy emphasis merely becomes an activity, our emphasis on mental culture is reduced to IQ and emotional intelligence. A stark reduction from that which we have been called to be: these actions are actions of obedience and repentance from our disobedience in the past. These things that others might simply term as Adventist culture must be what Paul terms a 'manifestation of Truth' in our lives.

But it can't be more than culture to us if we don't know. If we don't know or believe that we read the Bible to direct our steps. That these Truths do a work in our lives that provide a stalwart strength of purpose that is unswayed by popular opinion or novel conjectures.

Because one day we will be reduced to a people where we are removed from our society with those of similar culture. And the only thing we will have remaining to stand on are those Truths that prompted our ancestors in the societal direction that we see today. And if we don't know how that came about, we will have nothing.

Running Together

2011-05-18T12:34:00.001-04:00

There is no coincidence that a common metaphor for life is a race. Whether the defining adjective is the word 'Human' or 'Rat', each can be fitting and lends much to the analogy.

Others have eloquently expounded on the virtues of endurance, perseverance, and other traits of character necessary for running and finishing a race. But in this post I wanted to make observations about running WITH someone. Hopefully, we'll be able to see the application.

Almost two months ago a friend approached me to have me teach him how to run. It came about that there was a race in Portland that we could use as our goal. At the end of all the training, there were a few things I learned.

Naturally, I'm a solo flyer (think more than running here, folks), and have been justifiably accused of being extremely self-reliant. But after running with someone for 6 weeks, my preference changed from running by myself to running w/ someone else.

So just some observations of the benefits of companionship (read into this all you want, that was the intent.)

1) SELF-FORGETFULNESS. You really forget yourself when you're running with someone else. You forget you're exercising, you fool yourself into conditioning.

2) EFFICIENCY. 8 miles with my friend seemed fun and good conversation. 3 miles by myself was a little less so.

3) MOTIVATION. We really have to be in agreement to NOT run. The other day when we were planning our long run, I initially wasn't in the mood to run, but he was, and then we started he wasn't in the mood but I was. If we ever skip a day, it will be because we both aren't in the mood at exactly the same time.

4) FASTER. After the race last weekend, I resolved to increase my training pace a touch. When I run with my friend, the pace increase was actually doubled at the same effort. I run faster when we run together.

5) CONVERSATION. I enjoy solitude, but another independent mind can actually talk back to you. Not only will it save you $125 per hour on therapy bills. You don't have to wait till next week for a follow up.

6) PRODUCTIVITY. Better than a 'bored' meeting, agendas get addressed, plans get laid, details get ironed out, ambitions get ignited, inspiration is enlightened, and determination is rejuvenated. The world consequently is a better place just because you ran with your friend.

7) BONDING. The trial of hardships born together forms a solidarity that is not easily dissolved.

After six weeks, my friend's training pace has increased by more than a minute. He ran his first 5K race at a dignified 7:22 min/mile. I had a new PB without any effort.

Now we're braking out the heart rate monitor and measuring our Lactate Threshold. Along with the dreaded intervals and hill training. We continue to run almost every day between 3-8 miles, even in foul weather (even when I'm on call or he has to see late patients). That's what running with someone else will do for you.

One of the most convincing arguments for running with someone is actually finding that person that is willing to share the burden of hardship, to join you in submitting to the rigor of training that you know will result in the desired fitness. Without complaining or compromise. And to enthusiastically believe that this is also what they want for themselves, but would simply like to be along for the ride (run) of their lives.

Friend: "Hey, I really need to get back into the running thing. Any tips?"

Me: "Grab a friend to do it with you. If you're really serious, find a race to do together."

Sent from the iPhone of Elwyn Garaza.

https://picasaweb/google/egaraza

Making the Hard Decision

2011-04-17T12:43:00.000-04:00

My second attempt at Jonah Lehrer's book entitled How We Decide.

Life got in the way of my first attempt and I found myself somewhat disoriented, so had to start again from the beginning.

In the introduction Mr. Lehrer places two conjectures before the reader that he attempts to answer throughout the book.

How does the human mind make decisions?

How can we make those decisions better?

The book is excellent and has a the substance that one comes to expect from a Rhodes Scholar, yet with an easy intellectual playfulness as if we were all sitting around the locker room after a game talking about something unrelated to the game. Mr. Lehrer wonders well. If you've ever found yourself making decisions (which apartment to buy, what major to choose, what location to live in), you might want to pick up this book. And add a grain of salt. More on that later.

The questions jumped out at me, because I asked myself what that second question really means.

Better?

Maybe we mean, how do we make decisions that will most effectively return a desired outcome?

We often as this question in terms of outcome / consequence. How do we make decisions that produce higher grades, more money, more satisfaction? This is how we generally look at that question.

Yet as God fearing people, not just the lip-service Christian, but one who looks at God as sovereign and whose influence is one that not simply touches our lives but is the foundation for all its facets ("In Him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28), we MUST make our decisions based on a "something better" COL 299.

While our non-religious, but spiritual, friends (have you met those people who say they're not religious but consider themselves spiritual?) will encourage us to move from material consequence to more existential consequences (they'll say we must move from more money, higher grades, bigger house as a goal to more meaningfulness, and inner peace), even this for us falls short of that "something better."

Our decisions, as Seventh-day Adventist and Bible-believing Christians, must be based on obedience. While in actuality this is how righteousness by faith works, simply looking at the Biblical example, obedience was the final factor by which every decision was made by those who are faithful. Without the criteria of obedience as the major factor, we may wonder if the decisions of holy men were failures.

Without obedience as a consideration, Noah only saved 8 people. Without obedience Moses's roving community wasted 40 years wandering. Without obedience, Gideon's military strategy, not to mention Jehosephat's 'special teams' would not have a consideration if we were to use those ideas as factors for decision making today.

Obedience continues to be the key for the people of God.

Yet how often do we lay aside the counsel given to us as Seventh-day Adventists on how we are to do Evangelism, how we appeal to the youth, how we worship in Church? If we look at our recent methods of running ourselves, we use criteria other than obedience to make decisions how our churches and our families are to be run. We use reasons like, "it's more effective to reach teenagers." or "research shows that we can reach the most amount of people." or "we find that we have more baptisms using this method." or worse yet, "other churches are doing it with good outcomes."

But obedience hasn't been a criteria for any of those. Obedience to the counsel that says Sabbath is a good time to knock on doors. Obedience to the counsel that we have been for the principles of outreach. That the colporteur work will reach the end of time, that our health message is the right hand of the gospel, that The Three Angel's Messages are righteousness by faith in verity.

We speak of repentance but continue to use every other criteria other than obedience to make decisions for our spiritual well-being.

Mr. Lehrer did not include spiritual considerations, and I don't believe it's an indicator of his stance on God. This is because it is an exposition on how, not why. Like many of the other factors that influence decision, God and His Word are not isolated. It is the things that are truly important to us, whether we acknowledge it or not, that inform our decisions. If God really is in our lives, then He will bear the heaviest weight in our considerations.

From the Sermon on the Mount:
"[Bible religion] is not to be like a dash of color brushed here and there upon the canvas, but it is to pervade the whole life, as if the canvas were dipped into the color, until every thread of the fabric were dyed a deep, unfading hue." Desire of Ages 312.3

While Mr. Lehrer makes a pretty convincing case for how decisions are made and contributes his ideas on how they can be made better, we can (ironically) choose what informs those decisions. We can decide what we read, what we watch, what we use for recreation or amusement, who we spend time with, what influences we receive. We can place ourselves in a position of advantage. Choose by the criteria of obedience.

And then leave the consequences to God, He is that "something better."

Measure Twice

2011-04-15T15:52:00.000-04:00

I just moved in to a little one bedroom house.

I found myself imagining the great furniture I'd buy to make it working, useful, and comfortable place to spend my time. I looked online, and walked through furniture sections of various stores and office furniture suppliers.

In my head a table would go here, and shelf would go there, a table would be useful here. And I wanted a wing back chair to sit in and read (like the ones you see in a library). But walking through the furniture section of various stores, I was inundated with choices, colors, styles. Many useful, many quite good looking.

So my first purchase was a tape measure.

I needed to measure the wall and the height agains which the table would fit, and the space to the window and how much did the stairs protrude into the living room. And even before picking my furniture a checking had to happen, similar to an the wise carpenter's adage: Measure Twice, Cut Once. I measured each space to make sure the right furniture was chosen, that all would fit together.

This made me think of THE work going on right now. In the heavenly Sanctuary.

The thoughtfulness and consideration I had put into my humble dwelling made me wonder about God's thoughtfulness and care in fashioning a place, not only for Himself to dwell, but also that He was fashioning something for His Son, Whom He cares for deeply.

The deliberateness of measuring each space and then measuring each furniture, piecing them together made me think of the command given in Revelation to measure the city (Rev 11:1). This intentional work of judging, of measuring the people, was to make sure they fit. Because He needs a fit people for the finishing of the work. For the High Priest was to take the transgressions of the people in all their sins and put "them upon the head of the [scape] goat, and shall send him away by the hand of a fit man into the wilderness:" (Lev 16:21)

Making sure the people measured up. That they were meet (suitable, fit, proper) for His Son. That they were the helpmeet for Christ. (Eph 5:27). That His church would be a suitable, proper and fit bride for the Son. And a suitable and fit dwelling for the Sovereign of the Universe, the Majesty and Source of all that is Good, Righteous and Pure.

All I had to was measure and find the furniture. I didn't have to trim, cut or lengthen.

Christ's work is more difficult. He's preparing a people. A people that fit. And He is measuring every part.

So the question comes: Will you let God do His loving work, the work of measuring every part to make you fit? That you can be fitted to the body of Christ?

"From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love." - Ephesians 4:16

Object Lessons on a Laceration

2011-03-22T14:57:00.000-04:00

On Sabbath morning, I slipped crawling out of bed (it's a longer story than this).

It only hurt initially, but as I look on the scar every day, watching it get better, I thought of a few object lessons...

1) Examine the wound - Take a look at what was hurt, cut, or broken. This requires an honest assessment. If there are multiple layers, you have to at the least, admit it.
Sometimes this is the most difficult, because the wound still hurts while the examination is occurring. But it is the most necessary first step. God requires this, we should, too. Jer 3:13, 2 Cor 13:5

2) Clean the wound - Remove anything, such as debris, that will prevent healing. Is there extra blood, dirt, or chunks of tissue? These have to be cleaned out. Sometimes you have to remove things out of your life that just keep you from healing. Eph 4:31

3) Approximate the skin - in other words, bring the separated portions of skin back together as close as you can. This is difficult, despite the puzzle piece shapes of my wound, but care in this point of the process will speed the healing and maintain the appearance more than any other reconstruction afterwards. To restore as close to the original is a difficult but terribly necessary part of healing, especially prior to throwing the first stitch or placing the bandage. Often you have to do your best to reconcile things that have been separated, even before you lay down that thing that will keep things together. 2 Cor 5: 19

4) Apply structured and consistent restraint - Two characteristics: they have to be somewhat maintain restraints, such as a stitch or a bandage. For healing, a consistent structured restraint has to be there to provide support while the body heals itself. These two qualities must be there for any other kind of healing as well. With out consistency, the body will not be able to lay down the proteins appropriately to close the wound. Without traction (restraint), the would will be too open for scar tissue to form rapidly enough. You just can't heal without consistent structure and restraint. 2 Peter 3:11

5) Duration - I'm giving it about 7 to 10 days. That's about how long we keep stitches on. Exodus 7:25, Jeremiah 42:7, Ezra 10:13

It's Biblical, look at the way God healed the human race...

Oh, and by the way, I'm fine, I'm thinking straight, the wound is painless (now).

I'll let you know how it goes ...

I'm sorry Japan, it was my fault, too.

2011-03-14T10:47:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry, Japan. I'm sorry Haiti. I'm sorry, New Zealand. It was my fault. Mine and my brother's.

I just finished reviewing some stories from the Boston Globe's The Big Picture, with all the devestation and destruction going on around the world.

After the initial response of horror, and sympathy for their pain, and then the subsequent response at the question of how many of them had met and known Jesus as their Saviour, the reflection went further.

It struck home to the heart.

As Seventh-day Adventists, we believe that we live in a time of judgment, and because we believe that by a deeper surrender to the Holy Spirt, by His development of character in us, we may participate in hastening Christ's return. It is because of this fact that we hold some significant responsibility of the pain and suffering of our fellow human beings as well as the pain in the heart of God in the suffering of His people.

We don't like to think so, but our lack of surrender, our prideful rebellion as He daily speaks to us of those defects in our character and lack of strength in obedience, and more importantly of the remedy for each, it is these things that are delaying His return, and by correlation, prolonging the destruction that is so devestating to us and our brethren. Though we do not directly cause the tsunami or the natural destruction, we directly prevent Christ's fulfillment of His character in each of our lives. Though we cannot choose the weather patterns around the world, we can choose our response to His Spirit's promptings.

Though He might not have shown us all that needs to be surrendered in our lives, he has shown us things that need to be surrendered today. Now. Our neglect in Bible Study, our prideful self-righteousness, our laziness in prayer, our lack of faithfulness in duty, our disbelief in the words inspired by His Holy Spirit, our own self-justification that those words are not binding to us today, and further, our progress in deepening the initial surrender of self. Those things we can choose to surrender today.

In an indirect way, we are at fault for Sendai, Christchurch, Port-au-Prince's pain. We didn't have to let this all get this far. And since we participate in the trouble, in our remorse, doesn't it behoove us to be part of its resolution?

Digital Darkroom

2011-02-02T23:15:00.001-05:00

In response to my previous post, I got a question about how to get the glow in the last (fourth) photo. Here is my response:

For the last picture of the young lady, Alison, part of the softness came from the effect of a direct backlight, which was the sun coming through the studio window.

For the post-production.
I used Layers in PS5.
1) Load the picture.
2) Duplicate the picture in a new layer.
3) Blur the picture with the Gaussian Blur filter.
For a 800x533, use a strength of 4
For a 1200x1800 pic, use a strength of 20

4) Then go to the composite menu on your Layers palette (I've included a photo of it, and put a pink ellipse around it)

And you'll see a list of choices. The default is NORMAL.
What you want to look for and choose is SOFT LIGHT, this will severely increase the contrast by calculating an algorithm using the highlighted layer (which in your case is the duplicate) and the layer immediately below it (which is likely the Background or the Layer 0)

The glow come from the Gaussian Blur in step 3.

That was the end of the email. In fact, I did that same technique with some modifications specific to the photo on the following, which was 800x533, Sharpen settings were Amoun 125%, Radius 0.3 pixels, Threshold 1 Level, dropped the mids on the Blue Channel curve, but that's all standard anyway (oh, and I cropped and resized the picture):

West Coast Friends!

Original Photo

Hope that helps someone, have fun!!

In Maine shooting people...

2011-02-02T12:01:00.000-05:00

Just for fun!

Commercial

2011-01-26T10:36:00.000-05:00

So behind me is the shooting crew for a commercial. We're filming digitally for a local bank. They were looking for climbers, but we're in the middle of January. The people are fun. It's interesting to see the whole process of shooting. I'm definitely learning something.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Rainbow and the Barbarian

2011-01-18T21:41:00.001-05:00

They say that with the analysis of the light defraction of a rainbow, it loses the mystery of its beauty that gives it an awe inspiring magical appearance. Too much analysis takes away from its beauty. I disagree. The colors of a rainbow seem more rich and complex because I know how the different wavelengths of light bend in relation to the density of the defracting object, in this case the water droplets.

But that is simply a long introduction to what I am about to talk about today.

Without knowing it, the Lombards and Nebbletts effortlessly display a good example of a group photo. Most every photographer's nightmare is a group photo where everyone stands as if they were in a police line-up. But not this case. For whatever reason these guys were a dream. The only direction I gave them was: Stand right there. Anyone to Chantée's right will be out of the picture, or to Josh's left.

That was it. I metered off Sean's shirt and dropped the exposure a touch. Counted to three and this is what I got. Cropped minor with about 5 curve adjustments and voilà! The kids did the magic really:


The Lombards and Nebbletts (l-r): Adriana Lombard, Chantée Nebblett, Elissa Lombard, Peter Michael Lombard, Sean Nebblett, Natasha Nebblett, Josh Nebblett.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. There are several things that these guys did without being directed. We're going to deconstruct it so if you ever want to shoot a group shot, use this example.

The rules in group photos ares several: Everyone should be relaxed and standing anyway but straight on. Pay attention to Natasha's slight drop in her right shoulder, and Sean's left shoulder pushed back inadvertently pushing his left leg forward and putting his weight on it, as well as Josh's left-ward lean, and Elissa's lean into her brother and Pete's arm which has to wrap around his sister, and consequently shifts his weight to his left leg, turn his torso slightly to give him a nature bend. And Adri's gentle touch of her hand on Chantée's shoulder. Chantée is the only one who comes close to squaring to the camera, but even with her relaxed stance, she is slightly rotating her left shoulder back more than her right, and her position is further relaxed with the Lombard girls behind her.

But that's not it: What makes a good group photo appear like friends, not a corporate board of director's shot, is the closeness of each of the individuals. The trick is to get every one to relax individually but combine them so that they each appear close knit to the viewer. This is done by forming groups of two or three. Adri's hand on Chantée make them a group. Elissa and Pete with their arms around each other, and with Sean in such close proximity to them, that makes a group of three. The separation of Sean and Natasha make her and Josh as one group. But each group also fits in relatively close proximity to each other group.

A lot of analysis? well, these guys didn't even think about it. I just told them to relax and act like friends and they did. And for we the viewers, it just felt right. Like looking at rainbow and not worrying about color wavelength or light defraction. It just looks right.

[click on photo for a larger image]

Courage

2011-01-03T12:53:00.001-05:00

The distinction is subtle but the difference is so pertinent it bears examination.

Bravery is the ability to confront pain and difficulty without feelings of fear.

Courage is the ability to confront pain and difficulty DESPITE the fear that is eminent.

"The essence of courage is not the feeling of being certainly capable of overcoming what’s one is faced with, but rather is the willful choice to fight regardless of the consequences."

There is no Biblical promise that fear will not be present, courage can be obtained as our biddings from God are enablings from Him as well.

This sheds new light on the promise:

"Be strong and courageous" - Joshua 1:9

Holiday Pics

2010-12-27T22:10:00.001-05:00

Elissa & Christy

Lauren

Joel

Abigail

Andrew

If you click on each picture, you'll get a full PRINT SIZE photo (you don't have to, I'm just sayin'...)

Snow Day

2010-12-27T15:08:00.000-05:00

Snow Day ... this is NOT Southern California.

Growing up in Southern California, in grade school we'd had a phenomenon called Heat Days. Conditions in which it was so hot that the school's airconditioning couldn't keep up with the sweltering, and we were all sent home early. Well, something similar happened today, AND I'm on-call tonight, so I have to sit around the apartment waiting for someone to walk in to ER or head to the OR for some kind of crash c-section. While my friends get together for Sushi, and fun, and photography, and potentially new video footage.

While at work

While at work, the snow continued to come down. They had to dig some of the 2 wheel drive cars out of the parking lot. But fortunately for my, my Jeep is tried and true, and at no other time (other than the trip to Sacramento from Mammoth through Tahoe without snow-tires, chains or a snow-plow), have I been more happy for this vehicle.

The View from my Apartment parking spot.

It's not even that cold outside, just windy and snowing A LOT! But the snow is nice and relatively dry, not as squeaky as Colorado, but still pretty dry. But relatively safe here, and warm, with books. Interestingly enough, I left my camera at the Lombards (so that their cousins could mess around with it), and I had to shoot these with my sidekick: the S90.

Conviction

2010-12-21T01:30:00.000-05:00

Conviction, it seems, doesn't come from someone else telling us what we're doing wrong per se, but more strongly from someone we admire telling us what they want to change in their own life.

It snowed today

2010-12-16T03:24:00.000-05:00

Wise or Otherwise at the Gerrans

2010-12-12T19:04:00.004-05:00

David is home for Christmas Break, and Lauren hasn't left yet. We're seeing if it's worth it to make a career to change to fortune cookie or motivational calendar writers.

Getting more efficient at this editing business.

In case you were wondering

2010-12-10T14:21:00.000-05:00

Back in the days, when the earth was drying after the global flood, we used to write prescriptions by hand. And if you've ever happened upon a handwritten one (maybe at the Smithsonian or at a local garage sale), you might be wondering what all the mumbo-jumbo was about. If that was the case, here's a little primer on what criptic words we use. It's helpful because since Latin is a dead language, there really isn't any variation in it. There is very little risk that you'll hear its way seeping through the vernacular in a local Hip Hop song. That also means that if I write a scrip (preSCRIPtion) for you, and let's say you want to fill it in ... I don't know ... Argentina, you should be able to without too much ado. And without further of that (the ado), here's a small primer on Medical Prescription lingo:

Prescription Abbreviations: Common Latin Rx Terms
ac (ante cibum) means "before meals"
bid (bis in die) means "twice a day"
gt (gutta) means "drop"
hs (hora somni) means "at bedtime"
od (oculus dexter) means "right eye"
os (oculus sinister) means "left eye"
po (per os) means "by mouth"
pc (post cibum) means "after meals"
prn (pro re nata) means "as needed"
q 3 h (quaque 3 hora) means "every 3 hours"
qd (quaque die) means "every day"
qid (quater in die) means "4 times a day"
Sig (signa) means "write"
tid (ter in die) means "3 times a day"

Now you can take your secret decoder table and find out what we're really saying!

Hot Night in Maine

2010-12-01T18:17:00.001-05:00

Almost T-shirt weather!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Plug for Game Night

2010-12-01T02:11:00.000-05:00

First attempt at video edit and upload. Thanks to the Lombards, Newharts, Josh, Jonathan, and Steven for being such good sports.

First Snow in Augusta, Maine

2010-11-26T08:23:00.000-05:00

Pretty self explanatory. Where are those snow tires ....
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Great Race, Episode One - Two Hours in Boston

2010-11-24T23:31:00.000-05:00

Picking up Matthew from Boston Logan International Airport gave us the opportunity with only a few hours of daylight to explore a city I had always been curious about since I was a kid. Not only does does Boston house the recognized institutes of higher learning such as Harvard and MIT, it also happens to be the place where is recorded the events and the mind set that was fundamental to America, one of self-reliance that seems to mark the people of the region. Mind you we only had two hours or so, but we made the most of it. We didn't have time to be polite, so we searched for a map (we didn't realized these were kind of hard to find) and proceeded to be real tourists (camera in tow), looking down at a map to give us directions and with the audacity of people desperate to see something of note, but without the time to be polite.

Just the same, the local Bostonians seemed friendly, out of character to the reputation that proceeded them. They were helpful and seemed to almost find it novel that a Californian and Mainer would find themselves in downtown Boston during the off-peak tourist season. Who cares, we were there to see the sights, and Matt was there to do reconnaissance for the future dates he was going to take down here. At least that's what I told him he was supposed to be doing.

We just picked a parking spot, ours just happened to be beneath the North Station of the MBTA.
Which is an acronym for Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority, affectionately known as the T by locals, who use it for public transport around Boston and suburbs.

After wandering around (without a map at first), we found a statue of this guy named Paul.
After that, the rest was history, so to speak.

The warning lights from that famous ride shown from the steeple of this church.

Humble church that played a role in housing the lights that warned the militia of the British arrival.

Old North Episcopal Church

This seal marks the bricked roads along the Freedom Trail, a path that runs along downtown Boston, visiting 16 significant historical sights of the area - we only got to a few of them.

Matt and I finally found a place that had maps. No longer aimless we now had a way to get our bearings.

Thought not officially on the Freedom Trail, Matt spent a lot of time around the Quincy Market when coming down with his family, so we came here to find some grub.

With a high probability of vegan dishes, we decided on Wagamama.

Several options chosen, Number 38 in the coconut sauce was unanimously voted as the winner.

New England spelling tutorial. Different words over here, who knew?

Fanueil Hall - where rousing speeches were made to encourage the baby nation to become independent of Great Britain.

Sometimes referred to as "the Cradle of Liberty" - we did not have to time to take the tour of historically significant events of the Hall.

Plaque inside Fanueil Hall

My only experience with Samuel Adams, no ID required.

Matt shows the markings of the Freedom Trail. It's a nice addition, because if you think you're lost, look for this red stripe or the brick line similar to this that marks the complete trail.

People movers are the way to get around. And it's still all about the wheels. The guy with the meaty ones gets the girl's number. Sorry rice-rockets, she's looking for the guy with the Big Wheels.

Interview in traditional garb of the day. Must've been a pain to clean.

In a short time, it was still lots of fun. Next time, we're driving to Portland taking the train in, then hitting the T. But now we know a little of our way around, where to eat and what to see. Future plans include the aquarium, Bunker Hill, MIT, Harvard Square. And a host of others. I'll keep you posted. Don't forget to hit the title for the jump to Wiki.

Everyday Religion

2010-11-23T01:31:00.000-05:00

Often, after some time in the Christian walk, we forget how we came into it. How Christ lead and continues to lead in our lives. I was just discussing this topic with a friend of mine who was formerly in a Bible study group I used to give back in California. The subject of complete surrender came up and we saw how many times we as Christians refuse to give everything to God, yet still continue to claim to walk with Him.

Look at the silliness of this idea. I have replaced the original words with words more like many of the Christian walks today:

Some to Jesus I surrender;
Some to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
- Refrain:
  I surrender Some,
  I surrender Some;
  Some to Thee, my blessed Savior,
  I surrender Some.
Some to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures partly forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
Some to Jesus I surrender;
Make me, Savior, partly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.
Some to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.
Some to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of part salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

That last stanza really hit me that a part surrender constitutes an incomplete salvation realized. Also in verse three. We really don't appreciate the ramifications of an incomplete surrender. We really tie God's hands when we don't give Him all.

Ristorante Lombardi - New Menu Item

2010-11-21T01:56:00.001-05:00

Newly added: Tomato Bisque

After being sick all week, I treated myself to some really good food in Freeport. To my pleasant surprise, in addition to the Signature Soup, they have added a new Tomato Bisque to the menu. A little more subtle taste and less artificial than other soups of similar nature, by comparison. Quite delicious, it is creamy, and fresh and a perfect evening soup (or rainy day soup, or light soup). Served with the special bread (I had the Avocado and Tomato Sandwich - on Wheat), it made a satisfying dinner.

Behind the dining and serving area, there is a place for board games or just general ruckus, you can look through what they have available, or bring your own, or they have some downstairs in the lower room. Did I mention they also have internet access, but you have to get the password from one of the owners. Tonight there was a game going on that had the main Chef and the rest of the crew laughing, along with the guests, with such intensity that I could stop, I started to cry, and my chest started to heart, but that wouldn't get me to stop. It continued for a few hours.

At the end of the evening, I was short on the bill so I volunteered to help with the dishes. It's not tucked away like some other places so it wasn't a completely unpleasant task. One can do dishes but be adequately engaged in the conversation around the cooking area. Before that the last call was made, and the night staff was preparing pastries for the following business day. I left shortly after.

Summary: If you're sick, go get soup at the Ristorante Lombardi.

Semi-Annual Recital

2010-11-17T01:01:00.004-05:00

Renon on Violin

About twice a year, if you're lucky enough, you get to hear a recital of some of the young performers in Topsham. Usually some fun songs just to enjoy some music and some food afterwards. This particular even, included with the fine classical violins and piano, we had an exceptional treat. The kids gave a recital of prose, highlighting the every day life of a medieval village. Dressed up in mock peasant garb, they spoke of glass blowing and marriages planned for the financial benefit of the parties involved, their resignation and defiance of the arranged marriage, and plans of advancement from squire to knight. The music was fun and wonderful. Adri's song was wonderfully cheeky, and Mary hit the piercing high note with her beautiful rendition of The Prayer (while Jonathan busted out the Italian! - What else do those Gerrans boys do?) But the recitation was fun, and light, and put on with sincere child-like lack of reservation, it was refreshing. The food was tasty and company could only be minimally improved on.

Sienna

Perla

Summer

Luca

Perla and Yesenia

Rose and Liz

As for the pics, you get to see my recent trial on Photoshop. If you can't tell it's been shopped, then great. If you can, send me a message.

Inspiration - The breath of life

2010-11-12T16:33:00.000-05:00

As I came upon this blog entry by Barry Howe, Inspiration, several days ago when it was first posted, the first thought that entered my head was the kind of inspiration that motivates art or conquests or achievements. I had to chuckle when I read Christy's comment below it. That's the kind of inspiration I was thinking of.

Inspiration is what has launched ships, written plays, invented light bulbs, won medals, conquered kingdoms. And wrote the Bible:

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: - 1 Timothy 3:16

But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding. - Job 32:8

It is not an accidental metaphor. To think the physiologic activity of breathing is analogous to the movement of the Holy Spirit on a person's heart is not so far fetched, and further analogies ensue that can be applied to the spiritual life:

1) It is the collection of substances in high enough quantities to be harmful (i.e. acid) that initiates the drive to inspire.

2) Inspiration is never forced in. A contraction of the diaphragm creates a vacuum, a void of substance, if you will, that is filled then with life-giving air. Only on a ventilator, an unnatural situation and an emergency, is 'inspiration' forced. And even then, it is not really inspiration, but mere ventilation.

3) Despite the action of breathing, inspiration can be inhibited. Anything that does not belong, whether man-made or biological, natural or artificial, that causes obstruction can prevent the benefit of inspiration from occurring.

4) Inspiration is not optional for life; without inspiration we would die.

Without inspiration there would be no art or beauty or cleverness or wit or poetry or stories. Without inspiration we would not only stop breathing, we would cease to live.

Have you every tried to write a poem, a story, paint a picture, photograph beauty, or create anything without inspiration?

1) It is often the pain in one's life, whether internal or external, its relief or its presence that brings inspiration or prompts a seeking after God.

2) God and His inspiration is never forced. Without a need created, its reception is not desired.

3) Things we do or positions we place ourselves in, even if not intrinsically evil or harmful, can be an obstruction to inspiration as well as to God's Holy Spirit. We really have a difficult time believing that what we eat, what we watch, listen to, do, or even think about have a bearing on our reception of life itself.

4) One day, we will each get what we want, whether the continued abiding or the continued absence of the presence of God who inspires...

For in him we live, and move, and have our being; - Acts 17:28

Foot work

2010-11-10T14:20:00.000-05:00

So the intellectual curiosity overcame me. Partly because business has kept me of the road work / treadmill and it was time to get back. Partly because I read Barry's blog entry on barefoot running. Partly when I first ran track back when I was a teenager, there was an article about one of the premier barefoot runner, a woman marathoner from South Africa (Zola Budd), and in high school I had tried it (very) briefly. It wasn't an absolutely new idea to me, but just the same I had no impetus to give a go until recently.

Today, I gave it that go. 3 miles at an easy pace (at the beginning of training it's my practice to do heart-rate training first, then speed work later, but that's just me, what do I know? I don't have a trainer anymore). I noticed a few things.

1) while I had paid attention to my stride previously, it was almost like a heightened awareness of my stride when going barefoot.
2) my cadence seemed to be faster. I attributed this to my stride being shortened so as not to reach with my foot, and land on my heel. This is one of the points that pro-barefoot runners make, it's better on the ankle and knee joints.
3) there is less temptation to land on your heel. It seemed more 'natural' to land on the balls of my feet when running barefoot, than even when I made a deliberate effort to run on the balls of my feet when I had my running shoes on.
4) for some reason, my knee didn't give me a problem. Since I was 19, it also took some warm up to loosen up my left knee. That didn't seem to even be an issue when running barefoot.
5) my biggest concern prior to running was my ankles. This proved to be poorly founded. No concern whatsoever. The ankles seemed stable and painless.
6) the biggest concern is something at end of my list: callouses (or lack thereof) on the bottom of my right foot. For some reason my left foot had no problem with this, but I could tell my right foot was tender. I imagine this will alleviate with time.
7) something that surprised me is that I had a more difficult time 'pulling' with my leg (i.e. making a deliberate effort to flex my hamstring in order to propel me forward, this in direct contrast to reaching or extending with the quads.) I'm not sure what to think of this, but pulling actually facilitates better form for me. We'll have to see with time.
8) I want to do it again! It felt more natural and free. With grown callouses, it will be even better.

I'll give it 3 days per week at about 3 miles for the first 2 weeks (remember, heart-rate training), then advance to 6 miles. When I introduce intervals, that may be a different story, but we'll see. That only means that you pick up the pace every 2 minutes, no big deal.

Let's see how things go in 2 weeks. (Don't forget to hit the jump on the title.)

Ristorante Lombardi

2010-11-06T22:19:00.001-04:00

Signature Soups at the Ristorante Lombardi

If circumstances find you in the town of Freeport, Maine, there are a few things that you must not leave without seeing or experiencing. Without a doubt, the Wolfe's Neck Woods State Park, Winslow Park, Casco Bay, and the Desert Dunes of Maine. You will miss something special if you don't go shopping at the flagship store of L.L.Bean at 2am since it's open 24 hrs.

But if you never do anything else, you have to stop by a small mom and pop's restaurant tucked behind (west of) the I-295 a couple of miles in a comfortable and homey restaurant that serves the finest food this side of home. Prepared with the kindness and sincerity that only comes with a home-cooked meal, the head chef is wonderful and creative, and her assistant chefs and all the staff are so much fun and laugh so easily, conversation flows with such loose frivolity and enjoyment that it almost feels like being in a home with some of your good friends. Everyone visiting Freeport needs to visit this food joint.

The soup that has recently been added to the menu is fast becoming signature is pictured above and the name is currently under review by the current staff. What may give the appearance of an every day chowder, is the most addicting non-narcotic substance approved by the FDA for daily consumption for symptoms of hyperphagia.

Do not leave Freeport, Maine, without having a sample of this marvelous soup with all the charm of eating on the deck beside the main dining room. The only down side to having some of this soup is that you'll want 2-3 servings at a time, and then you'll go back for more. And wish it was always in your own refrigerator just to have whenever you please. And you'll wonder if Ristorante Lombardi sells them commercially, and find yourself disappointed that they don't. (This is my last serving, so don't come steal mine, I have to make my own trip back out there ... and it won't be soon enough.)

Be sure to tip the servers :-) ... big.

10 Places

2010-11-04T16:50:00.001-04:00

One of the funniest things to me are warning signs. By virtue of their existence, they speak of the condition of the modern thinking American, for in America, the Land of Litigation, where else can you find warnings to not eat this, don't park here, do not enter or do not cross. But this alone is not the humor thing. The humorous thing is that someone, some day long ago, before the warning sign was put up, someone tried to do just what the sign said not to do. They dove in head first, they swallowed the pill, they parked there, and they ate that. They took the medication while intoxicated and inserted the toy where it wasn't meant to.

While some of these signs / warning do provide protection of the producers of the product or owners of the product in question, other signs do not. They simply are trying to protect people from their own lack of common sense. The following article is a case in point and begins with an anecdote of a juror passing a note to a court marshall asking for a date:

10 of the most inappropriate places to flirt

1 - Hospital waiting room
2 - The gym
3 - A funeral
4 - A job interview
5 - The underwear section of a department store
6 - In line for the bathroom
7 - Your therapy appointment
8 - A parent-teacher conference
9 - On a date with someone else
10 - At work

While we may smile at CNN's choice of reportable news. We have to wonder what prompted such a list. Some where. In this country we call home. Someone had the lack of common sense to do this kind of deed, which resulted in a significantly bad outcome. Some actually did what we find so humorous.

And we missed out because they didn't get it on YouTube!

What is important?

2010-11-03T23:08:00.001-04:00

A reevaluation of the importance of certain matters comes about in times of tragedy, pain, suffering. It is in those times of trouble that values are reexamined to seek the answer to this most fundamental question.

This question marks the bottom line of every action and thought. It displays the value that is necessary in every endeavor, or action set in motion. Each thought of consequence or purpose. In class of education, this question marks the focus of study. For each class tests to answer this very conjecture.

This question, asked at the end of life, then takes close scrutiny to every choice that came before and places each in appropriately glaring light. For truth will give its answer, and each decision must be weighed against the answer to this question. Is it time at the office, is it amount of money made and lost, is it fortunes built and legacy made? What is important, for the answer to this question drives the motive. By the answer to this question we choose our vocation, companion, even amusement and recreation. If we believe adventure and exploration is important then our activities follow suite.

At the end of school, if grades were more important than learning, or achievement better than mastery, then it shows itself in the kind of scholar or artisan produced, whether one who merely has performed the task required to receive a certificate, or whether mastery of information has been acquired.

This question drives our happiness, and we find ourselves deceived if at the outcome of all events, this question, put forth at the beginning, the middle and the end, is answered with the glib but hurried response, token to the impetuous disinterest in its underlying meaning. Meaning with such depth that to deny its acknowledgment would render us chasing with savage intensity those things that will not produce what we desire. Satisfaction and contentment. Peace that is presumptively described as Divine. That may not be so.

So this question must be answered at every stage, and reopened again. Not so much that indecision creeps in but enough that we remember what drives us forward, ignites our hearts, and fuels our passions. Because in the existence that allows self-awareness enough to the education of the conscience, To Be Or Not to Be, once answered, that which provides meaning to the Being is the question that then begs attention: In order to Be, what is important?

What gives existence life?

Sabbath at Portland Light Head

2010-10-24T01:42:00.001-04:00

Fort Williams, Cape Elizabeth, Maine

After Sabbath afternoon presentation on Evolution / Intelligent Design, I took a few of the youth out to Cape Elizabeth to walk around Fort Williams Park and get these guys to not sleep.

Reflection

The tide was lower so we saw the residual water collected at the base, and you can see the Lighthouse reflection in it. The water's reflection acts as a natural polarizing filter, which results in the richer colors in the pool's reflected image. I was still in church clothes so I couldn't crawl down there. It was a breezy 52°F but cloudless afternoon. It was going to get colder as the sun was setting.

Portland Head Light

As the sun set, the rays with longer wavelengths (reds, oranges and yellows) have less scatter (this is known as refraction) than shorter wavelength light (blues, purples), as the atmosphere acts as a prism, leaving the light a warm orange-yellow glow at sunset, which caught the top end of the Lighthouse in the above picture.

The Three Youths

The guys with me were bundled up for the (slightly) windy weather which dropped the temperature even more. Early that morning for Sabbath School, we had gone over the book Steps to Christ, chapter by chapter, and applying each step to specific teenage issues. While these teenagers aren't caught up in harmful habits, we still reviewed that we often look for even wholesome things to give satisfaction in our lives, but because of our separation from God because of sin, nothing will be satisfying (that's a review of Sabbath School, come next Sabbath and we'll continue) and then we introduced the Sinner's Need for Christ. We're only on Chapter 2. It hasn't sunken in for these guys yet (but repetition deepens the impression and we will review it again next week) as you could tell from the conversations walking around the grounds. I'll be a little more deliberate next time. And it's a needed review for me, too, since there is never such a thing as "too much" conversion.

Annie C. Maguire

Looking south of the Lighthouse is this sign of the probably one of the best Christmas presents ever, seeing as no one lost their life that night. If you were too ~~lazy~~ rushed to hit the jump, here's a little history of the sign in the photo above:

On Christmas Eve, 1886, the British bark Annie C. Maguire ran ashore on the rocks at Portland Head. The Strouts got a line to the vessel and helped all aboard, including the captain's wife, make it safely to shore.

On New Year's Day 1887, a storm destroyed the ship after everything of value had been removed. You can still see the rock near the lighthouse with the painted inscription: "Annie C. Maguire, shipwrecked here, Christmas Eve 1886."

We got kicked out of the park as it closes at sundown. We closed Sabbath right outside the gate and drove back home for hanging out and talking, a difficult endeavor for teenage boys. But remember, baby steps.

Video Ministry

2010-10-19T13:24:00.000-04:00

So for a few days, I shipped down to visit a friend in Florida. He runs an independent ministry called The Gospel of Health and runs a school entitled School of the Prophets, which teaches young people (as young as 12 years old) how to have a personal walk with Christ for themselves, as well as teaches of Prophecy and the message for the end times, going through the Bible and Steps to Christ.

But these next several days is just for Media. We're up to our ears in un-edited video footage, and will bu culling through Lecture videos, as well as PowerPoint / Keynote presentations.

Today we had to do some house-keeping chores (my phone was on the fritz and I left my toothbrush in Virginia, don't ask me how) and scope out locations for publicity shots for future brochures and the website (yes, he's on Facebook; no, I'm not).

But like a canvas dipped in unfading hue, every conversation touches on the work that needs to get done, how improvement can be made, a deeper surrender, repentance, and consecration to the work, and especially the work of Christ in that second apartment of the heavenly Sanctuary.

I only had my Blackberry so this is a shot of St. Pete's Beach. But despite the balmy 84 F weather and minimal humidity, I do miss my friends in Maine, (Also too much asphalt in St. Petersburg), where the air is a bit nippy and fall is etching itself on the trees, ground, and air.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

New England Haiku for Autumn

2010-10-11T21:32:00.002-04:00

... trees ablaze ...

_________

mist mornings burn off

trees stay ablaze golden red
welcome to the fall

___________

Decide today, again.

2010-10-10T00:09:00.002-04:00

Sabbath Morning

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
Deuteronomy 6:7-8

Woke up Sabbath morning.
Chose to be a Christian.
Had devotional.
Read Bible.
Read Steps to Christ.
Took notes.
Took this picture.
Packed for the day.
Got dressed.
Reviewed Chapter 1 for Sabbath School.
Tied Nick's tie.
Was convicted by Divine Service message.
Missed friends who are out of state.
Had lunch.
Went out on Greg's boat.
Listened to Prophets and Kings being read.
Closed Sabbath.
Made applesauce.
Talked photography with Jonathan.
Planned outing.
Missed a meeting.
Drove home.
Blogged this entry.

Tomorrow, I have to make a decision again. To be a Christian. Just like you do.

Desires for goodness and holiness are right as far as they go; but if you stop here, they will avail nothing. Many will be lost while hoping and desiring to be Christians. They do not come to the point of yielding the will to God. They do not now choose to be Christians.
- Steps to Christ, p. 47

Click HERE to see photos from Sabbath afternoon boat trip.

Normal

2010-10-08T11:32:00.003-04:00

Every photographer must own a Standard lens.

On most Canons and Nikons, this means a 35mm lens. On Full frame cameras like Film Cameras or the 5D Mark II or the 1Ds Mark III or the Nikon D3 or D700 this means a 50mm lens.

Reasons for this?

1) A Standard or Normal lens is equivalent to the way our eye sees things. We don't have any distortion like a wide angle (this can be simulated by coming up to a subject really, really close) or the flattening of a subject like a telephoto lens (this too can be simultated by closing one eye). This is the truest WYSIWYG (pronounced wizzy wig): what you see is what you get.

2) It forces you to expand your creativity. With a Standard Prime (meaning non-zoom) lens, you really have to stop and think about your composition. A good exercise is a 50mm walk-around. Put a Standard lens on your camera and walk around for the day, and use only that lens to shoot for the whold day. Landscapes, portraits, action, etc. all without specialty lenses. It'll make you think on your feet.

3) It's probably the fastes lens in your kit. Unless you're a Professional or have really deep pockets, the 50mm will probably have a low aperture of f1.4 (or f1.8 if you're a starving dental or medical student), which means you can open up the lens to f1.4, let more light in, and then choose a really fast shutter speed. That's what we mean by a fast lens (not how many frames-per-second we can shoot, which is a function of the camera body, not the lens).

4) It's produces reasonably flat images for good environmental portraits, which allows you to get IN (really IN) to the shot without the distortion of a wide angle lens.

5) It's a low profile (compact). It's small enough that it doesn't really draw attention to itself. You can slide it in anywhere.

6) It's light. Have you ever walked around with a 70-200mm f2.8 ? Thick as a brick and heavy too. A standard lens, which for most of you Canon shooters is the 35mm f2.0 is compact, fast, and it looks quite cool.

7) It's relatively inexpensive. For only $350 on Amazon you can have all of the above. And this particular lens has quite good IQ (that's Image Quality, who wouldn't want that!)

Incidentally, I just got mine repaired and it arrived at work today (don't worry I'm really seeing patients and blogging in between) and here it is with one of my colleague's toys, Ernie, looking through the lens. I'm excited to have my normal, compact, light, inexpensive, and very fast lens back!

Sent from my Blackberry.

Seasonal Waymark

2010-10-08T05:26:00.000-04:00

Pumpkins and Scarecrows

September 22, 2010. Late that day marked the Autumnal Equinox, one of two times of year in which the axis of the Earth is perfectly perpendicular to the angle of orbit around the sun, resulting in a tilt that is neither towards or away from the sun. The result is that the amount of daylight is equal to amount of darkness for that 24 hr period, a perfect balance if you will of light and dark. In terms of the time of year, it marks the official seasonal change from Summer to Fall. Thematically, the pumpkins come out and plaid-dressed hay haired scare crows with sewn mouths and straw hats come out, to mark the time of harvest. In terms of fashion, fall sweaters and corduroys are brought of the closet to battle the colder weather, along with wool coats. No more jumping into the lake for a quick dip or sitting on a lawn chair with a cold (decaffeinated) iced tea.

Back in the day, it was time to gather in the crops and reap the work that had been going on all summer. Not just because it marked the end of a growing season but in preparation for the coming winter. It was a looking forward, in a way, to a time when commodities and resources would be scarce if duties weren't done now.

The haunts of my younger days wouldn't really know what this is like. Southern California is a place where preparation isn't so marked by necessity. Its even temperature allows a sensation of a single year round season. Even near the desert. There one could delay gathering in crops because Nature was relatively mild all year round, and little consequence was to be born if procrastination was the order of the day. One could always gather things later, or so one thought. Temperature never really cooled the way it does in locations marked by Four Seasons, and passage of time can be easily lost track of.

Here, in New England, it's getting cooler. Wool has come out, skirts have dropped, shorts have been put aside. Apples are going to be soon ready to pick. Applesauce and peanut butter (yum!) will be on the menus with abundance. The rain is a little cooler, and one no longer has to sleep with the windows up.

Winter (and Christmas) is just around the corner.

Winthrop Street

Question of the Day for October 6

2010-10-06T23:59:00.000-04:00

Would you be disappointed if you found out your powers of persuasion were due to the fact that you were clever instead of to the fact that you were right?

Page 8

2010-10-04T10:44:00.000-04:00

Read this book!

For some time, I had been eying this book since seeing it on John Howe's blog shelf some time ago. Well, I received this book for my (recent) birthday from some friends here in Maine, I finally had time to sit through some of it. I went through all the drills that I have learned about good readers (since I'm kind of mediocre), eyeballed the Table of Contents, reviewed the reviews, and flipped through the pages as I got ready to read. I'm only on page 8 and I had to get up and walk around.

If you know me, I'm not very emotive (sometimes) when I'm concentrating on something, and I've been accused of having a stern poker face, but every once in a while, when I'm studying for a lecture, or a talk, or reading something that has depth to its implications, because of a novel thought, I get up and walk around and think. If I am speaking to someone on the phone, they can probably tell by my voice that I have stood up, and am pacing the floor, enthusiasm unhindered. Almost emotive. This happened a lot when I first read the book Steps to Christ (and incidentally, still continues to happen).

But another thing I find interesting is cognition. Meta-cognition. The way we think. And the way we think about the way we think. "Think" meaning the verb, to process intellectual and emotional information (yes, that includes all you Feelers out there.) But with that in mind, you can imagine how curious I was to finally get my hands on this book and the find the time to sit and digest it.

So I'm reading this book, and within the fraction of the first story, the implications are tremendous and far reaching. They have an intrinsic application to various aspects of life (in the vernacular, people usually say, "Man, that is deep!" when in fact they mean this phrase.) This is an amazing book, and I RARELY use this word, except when meeting people or things that dumbfound me (in a good or bad way). But in fact, this book is AMAZING.

The pace is easy, but substantial. The information is practical and feelings compelling. The stories are real and some of the names have not been changed. The idea of connecting the mind (the hypothetical construct with which we find ourselves AWARE - i.e. the software) and the brain (the physical construct that allows electrons to move and signals to be carried - i.e. the hardware) is put forward to the reader in such terms that one's interest is generated, not just for the science, but for the stories. The stories of the real people with real problems, and the possible solutions that can be brought home to every day life. Because we all use our minds and brains. Without which the heart can pump, but not feel. The body can exist but not live.

And it makes you wonder that kind of wonder that is sparked with the words, "What if ..." where possibilities are endless and horizons are open. Like getting a car (and driver's license) for the first time, or lots of money at a candy store (ok, a fruit stand) and it feels like anything can happen. This is called hope.

And it gets you up off the bed (where you're reading) and makes you pace and think, maybe aloud. And realize with a quirky smile, you're only on page 8.

Seven Pounds and The Recession

2010-10-01T14:21:00.001-04:00

If you hit the link to this Blogpost's Title, you'll brought to a comprehensive list that shows which state's will start to reduce their collective contribution to the Nationial Donor Registry. As well as considerable reduction in commercial activity. The world will start to rotate a little bit more slowly, and we'll shuttled back to the ages of ink and paper, constantly worrying whether our spouses or kids will arrive at home on time.

This is because the activity of texting, checking emails, and divising the take over the free world, while driving has been banned from certain states. On my way to and from Boston several nights ago, signs reminded drivers that beginning October 1, 2010, it was now illegal to text while driving. I suppose there would be a possibility of text-o-meter, to check toxic levels to texting. Thumb temperatures and circulation to distal digits can be monitored, as well as text logs on cell phones could be required to be given over for law-enforcement officials to review.

Imagine what it would be like if we weren't able to conduct business on our cell phones with the kind of relentless ambition that drives the Capitalism Paragon of the World. Commerce would come to a virtual halt (pun intended), and we'd be back to the recession of which we've slowly been working toward coming out.

The down side of all this is that I'm card-carrying organ donor. I believe in it adamantly. Life could be easily improved by the simple selfless act of letting people farm our unused non-cataract lenses, non-cirrhotic levers, uninfected bone marrows. I've been accused to having a body with a cellular age of a guy 15 years my junior (is that possible?) and believe that if I died (presumably while texting and driving) I could further the enjoyment of some other people on this earth, just by having that little pink dot on my driver's license. Because of this new law, this ability to extend the life of others will be greatly reduced. And to what extent? Only time will tell.

Besides, I can think of few better ways to give your heart away ;-)

Circulation

2010-09-30T10:46:00.000-04:00

The highly vascularized circulation in the mouth is what makes a cut on the tongue or oral mucosa bleed profusely. Interestingly enough, it's that same highly vascularized circulation that helps the mouth heal quite well if it is cut or if the mucosa is damaged.

I just thought it was curious that the same thing that makes it bleed, is the same thing that makes it heal.

More than one thing works this way in the human experience.

Portland Head Light

2010-09-24T00:19:00.001-04:00

Portland Head Light

If you ever make it to Maine, take the time to visit one of the most photographed Lighthouses is the Portland Head Light, tucked away by the edge of Fort Williams Park in Cape Elizabeth, just outside of South Portland. Lit in 1791 and automated in 1989, I'll let you read the sordid details if you hit the jump on the Blog Title.

There is a nearby Lighthouse Museum and you can walk around the park, and there aren't many ways to better spend a New England afternoon.

I had to rush down after work, and they'll kick you out of the park at sunset, so this was taken just as they lit the Lighthouse. For those of you looking for technical information, it has been recommended by one of my respected readers to make a separate blog just for stuff like that: HERE. I ran out of time, so this was about it for the keepers. When I go back there will be more.

It is not the exotic locale or beauty like this that make the most compelling argument to join a place, but it is the people with which hopes are shared and pain is diffused that makes a place missed when one goes away. After my jaunt, I stopped by the house of a family that has taught me just that. We simply visited in their living room, and if they were ever to be located in the likes of barren Southwest, they would make an oasis of it. I am learning, even at my age, of friendship, and expectations, my own selfishness, living and hoping, what it means to really take something personally, and put one's care into something, because even if it hurts, there is no other way to live or be. Because only in death is there apathy. In life there is hope and disappointment, fear and courage, pain and healing, colors and words. The experiences of life that prompts its own perpetuation and reaching for of Something higher.

Nothing profound today. Just enjoying the sunset and the friendships. Elissa, your people miss you here. We know you're doing what you have to do, but you won't be home soon enough.

Discovery

2010-09-23T01:07:00.002-04:00

The difference between honesty and Truth is that honesty is relative to what one can see. Truth is independent of whether we can see it or not. Honesty holds on to Truth, but only can wrap our limited sight around a portion of it. More on this idea later.

And to be honest, I would love to make a living being a portrait photographer. One of my most cherished compliments is a friend of mine exclaiming, "I don't know what you did with that photograph but you made me look beautiful!" But what started long ago, built on ambitious unbridled youth to find visual aesthetics, grew into a wonder at finding honesty, the way one sits on the porch by an elderly sage, listening to history, except seeing with the eyes, the history of the person in their face, not just the features but the expression.

The same goes with an interview. If I had to choose whether I could tell entertaining stories or conduct a meaningful interview, I would choose the interview every single time. Because although a good story makes the hearer see something new, gives a new experience, a good interview makes the person being interviewed tell their own story, no matter how incapable a story-teller they think they are. The interview overturns old cobwebs in the mind's history of a self unexamined for years, and though lived some time ago, now is able to live again, with the added experience of wisdom collected from the time of occurrence to the current time of insight. It gives a chance to see things again, maybe more clearly this time. And the recollection is just as strong in feeling, just as vivid in color, but many times more meaningful.

A good portrait is a visual interview. The same way in which an interview is not just about the one being interviewed but is truly a tango, foxtrot or waltz between them and the interviewer, for the interview is a conversation of exploration, where the asker is the explorer and the interviewee is the guide. Both discovering, unearthing treasures, similar to both, but peculiar to each. The meaningfulness of each discovery is flavored with the honest scrutiny of the interviewer themselves. There is no getting away from it, for the interviewee is not the one asking themselves questions. The interviewer brings some of themselves to the table. And the same is true for the portrait. The photographer puts a little of himself into each portrait, and in a way, they dance together, the subject and the artist. And what everyone sees is not simply an individual but interplay, a cooperation of two people to the music they both hear. And we see the dance.

5D Mark II, 70-200 f/2.8L IS @78mm, 1/200 sec., f/8, ISO 1600, 2x 580EX II (shoot thru, bounce)

Epilogue:

Where did all this come from? For my birthday, I shuttled off to Portland, where I, unbeknownst the promptings of my friend, indulged myself in some (vegan) ice cream, turned off my cellphone, and walked around the park and spent some time with myself, drove back to my apartment, I took out a book entitled, 'Visual Poetry' by Chris Orwig, and began, not at the beginning but on the section about portraits. Now I am done with technical books, and for me to pick up another book on photography it had to be special. Engrossed, I became more so over time and spent the final several hours of my birthday looking inside and wondering outside. And I forgot to eat, and I forgot to sleep, but I let my mind wander unbridled for just a bit of time. And it ran away.

Two Lights

2010-09-20T22:51:00.001-04:00


Two Light State Park, Cape Elizabeth, Maine

Location scouting for an upcoming photo shoot. You'd think I didn't have a day job. But I have the opportunity to do the senior portraits for one of the guys in our youth group. How's that for a connection, right?! So I found myself at Cape Elizabeth, on a high contrast day. But looks like it has really good potential, I guess it can work. Smaller of the State Parks in Cape Elizabeth, so consequently less people. I like that better, no one meddles with the gear.

Something has to be said for Coastal Maine. Now if I could just find a decent lighthouse to shoot...

Travel Light

2010-09-20T01:15:00.002-04:00

Try it some time.

Take a plane trip without a carry-on. Of any kind.

On my recent trip to California, they had me check in my carry-on because it they didn't have any over head room. Reassured that my carry-on and its contents were checked to my final destination, I didn't worry. Until my last leg got canceled in San Francisco, and I was rerouted to Los Angeles. No carry-on on my arrival. But no worries, I didn't need it for weekend, per se.

What it did was give me a little of an experience I've always wanted to do. On my way home from California, I had no carry-on, with nothing in my pockets except my passport, some cash, an debit car, driver's license, and my cellphone (with charger). And my trusty camera.

The mobility was remarkable, which added a new dimension to the trip. Stairs were fun again. I wasn't worried about making it through security check, or hustling to my connecting flight. I had lots of chances to take advantage of this previously unexperienced freedom. Dallas, La Guardia (as of today, officially my most detestable airport ever!), Portland. I was a lighter traveler. It was wonderful! No toting things around, finding overhead compartments, trucking rolling baggage to the restroom. I could eat where I wanted, roam the shops, and I was free to move about the terminal without any baggage (now if that isn't a metaphor, I don't know what is). Although I wasn't sure when I'd see my camera gear, laptop, and car-keys, I wasn't terribly concerned. It wasn't my lack of planning that put me at this fortunate inconvenience, so I had no doubt God's Providence would take care of the details. Besides, even if I did stress, it wasn't going to let me retrieve my things sooner. This bearable lightness of being was such a remarkable experience, I didn't even have a backpack, just whatever I could slip into my pockets! If every travel experience could be like this! I realized that we pack our carry-on for convenience not necessity. If we could only realize that many of our necessities are really conveniences and work towards traveling instead of hauling around those conveniences, we'd be only more efficient travelers, but more able to experience the journey....

Next time: International travel without a carry-on!!

Mundane Travel Log

2010-09-17T22:49:00.003-04:00

So in San Francisco there is this phenomenon of low lying clouds that makes for picturesque photographs of buildings along the bay, but makes for inconvenient travel.

Apparently SFO (San Francisco International Airport) lands incoming aviatory traffic along two parallel runways. But when those otherwise gorgeous clouds line the atmosphere, SFO commonly decides to reduce traffic to a single runway. How this can be maintained in the order of normal business I do not claim to know. I do, however, know first hand of the resulting delay. What would have been a short jaunt across the continental US turned into a collection of delays at SFO that doubled the actual travel time and turned the expected arrival time of 1:21pm at the convenient Ontario International Airport into a major excursion with an arrival into LAX, the gateway to the Far East, at 11:00pm (and is currently being adjust for delays as I write this)!

This excursion included a connecting flight in the obscure town of Bakersfield, California. I don't know the population, but it is large enough to have a single terminal, 6 gate airport.

But small airports are not without their advantages as everything is in really close proximity to one another. The little deli sports non-dairy smoothies that would belittle larger cities. With the man behind the counter pumping out the ethnic East Indian music peculiar to that region, the deli seems more like a hole-in-the-wall Mom & Pop's joint that you might see in rural New England.

A quick run downstairs places you square in the middle of gate 6, and a saunter across the main hall the size of many larger airport's breezeway is a dignified lounge with comfy cloth seats and wooden computer desks. At this hour there is only one other traveler, and there is even the free wireless network, a convenience coveted by those travelers accustomed to larger venues.

All in all a surprise oasis out in the middle of inland California, a region that usually sports dry arid cropland and not much else.

And small airports mean smaller crowds and personal attendance by the airport staff. If that doesn't make you feel like a million bucks, you probably make more than a million bucks.

Oops, did they just announce another flight delay into LA? Sigh, the conveniences of modern travel... Already I miss where I left and I haven't even arrived at where I'm going.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Charming at any age

2010-09-16T12:06:00.000-04:00

Where does it go when they get older? You see it when they're little and wish they'd just hold on to it forever.

What I'm talking about is that innocent charm that is just so winning. I'm talking about that easy trust and how quickly it turned from suspicion. I'm talking about the fact that I didn't have to perform any song and dance to earn it.

What I'm talking about is an ordinary 2 year old little girl who, when I entered, looked at me with initial wonder and a glance to her mom let me know that she needed at least some reassurance. I wasn't about to win this girl's affection any time soon. Or so I thought.

I spoke to girl in a smaller voice, but like an adult. I don't believe in baby talk for ANYONE, no matter if you were just born today. So I spoke with her and talked her through some of the exam of her tender ears, delicate nose and sore throat. She didn't seem to mind being reassured by my words at least. But things got worse when we had to test her throat. She fought and turned and loudly vocalized her pain. But it was at the end of the test confirmation and discussing diagnosis and treatment with the mom, I made my salutation to leave, giving a wide birth and waving bye after that troublesome throat swab.

But when her mom asked her to give me a high-five, she reached out and said, "a hug, a hug!" What a pleasent child! I leaned over and a gave this little child a hug, and was greeted with, "no, a kiss!" How could you not be charmed by that! I leaned over and showed my cheek, on which she planted what felt like a butterfly's delicate caress. I can still feel it now!

And I wondered where all this goes when they grow up. Beat down with cynicism, and heart ache, and cares of growing up, no doubt. Maybe I'm simple like that. Because I wasn't charmed by cleverness and wit, and humor, and adventure, nor by a well-baked dessert or entree.

The seduction was by her unaffected tenderness, warmth and affection ...without an agenda. Just because she had it to give. And she wanted to give it to me.

Boy I love my job.

Solidarity

2010-09-15T21:42:00.000-04:00

sol • i • dar • i • ty |ˌsäləˈde(ə)ritē|
noun
unity or agreement of feeling or action, esp. among individuals with a common interest; mutual support within a group

At its deepest core, it is a union deeper than sympathy and empathy. Let me give you examples:

Sympathy - When someone tells you they broke a rib.
Empathy - When someone tells you they broke a rib, when you recently broke a rib too.
Solidarity - When someone tells you they broke a rib, and it's your Siamese twin.

It doesn't get closer than that.

To put one's self in another's shoes and to feel their pain, only then can we be moved with enough compassion to seek true reconciliation. This is the idea behind John 1:14, and 2 Cor 5:21

...and the two shall be one flesh ...

Development

2010-09-14T11:58:00.001-04:00

One of the most difficult things to learn for those of us who like our options wide open is to formulate a plan. That being said, a more difficult thing to learn is when to appropriately change it. We work so hard and are so driven and ambitious, that we make a plan for what we term success and head straight towards it. We consider contingencies and alternatives, anticipating difficulties along the way, hopefully with our eyes wide open. We rarely consider when it's time for plan B. B for bailout, like with a parachute. Or not. Just a cutting of one's losses.

At some time, wisdom dictates that it is time not only change an approach but to head for a different airport all together. I think what makes old age so ... um ... old is the loss of the ability to not only roll with the punches but also to change venues. Adaptability and exploration, and freshness with unlimited horizons. Piqued curiosities and wonderment. And the excitement that comes with them. These are what keeps the number on your driver's license false, as the years go. I see this all the time in my patients, and you can see why their parents are getting old.

Experience and time, yes, must provide wisdom and quite possibly a tempering of this youthful fervor, but never its suppression. Maybe make the focus more efficient and energy more directed, sure. But that is a different topic.

At some point, plans may need to be scrapped, maps and compasses have to be reconsulted, and new ground work must be laid. With the addition of the items from this previous post: HERE, a decision has be made, not an option consider, but deliberate action taken to redirect one's course.

It might mean after a lifetime of going, it's time to come. Or after a time of blindness, it's time to look. A time give, a time to ask. A time to recreate, a time to labour.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" - Ecclesiastes 3:1

A Brother

2010-09-12T23:19:00.002-04:00

Lets you plan their whole weekends.
Meets all your friends, loves them all, and helps you love them better.
Analyzes concepts and interactions to exhaustion, and then comes back to it for more.
Knows what you find important.
Puts up with everything they know about you, and then some.
Doesn't mind the current living situation.
Understands why you think a certain way, even when he disagrees with you.
Sees where you're going and knows why you're staying.
Tells you you're better at things when he knows he is.
Carries the conversation when you can't ... or won't.
Makes you think you're smarter even when he is.

Makes sure the important messages from your sister come through, even when the MMS messages fail to come across the phone network (Jen, resend it, I want to see it, it's HUGE NEWS!)

I love you, Audree. Thanks for coming and learning about my little paradise in New England.

Time and Space

2010-09-09T07:27:00.000-04:00

So it doesn't take a Hawking or a Feynman to realize that when time compresses, it gleans the important from the trivial. And you realize what your duty is and who you value, not because they come to you in crises, but because you reach out to them in a crunch, when time is running out.

Now if I could just get the catheter in and the IV fluids started, the TPN bag will have to wait...

Repertoire and Synthesis

2010-09-08T07:30:00.001-04:00

Title: Repertoire and Synthesis
Important: Learners and Teachers, Anybody

Concept: The focus of this entry is the way we collect information (intellectual, factual, emotional, etc.) and how we process it and use it, and then how we synthesize information. By synthesize, I mean putting seemingly unrelated parts together.

Examples of this are taking what you learn in Physics class and applying it to what you learn in English class, and then coming up with a (sometimes novel) conclusion. A strong example of this would be Barry in medical school. I use Barry here because he is starting out. Daniel will come later, he's a year ahead of Barry. Drew will come even later because he's a year ahead of Daniel. David just graduated, he's a more special case, we'll see later.

Barry must learn information that has been collected and refined from the last 160 years or so. He is not to make his own ideas of what medicine is at this current stage. He is building his repertoire of information about biochemistry, micro-anatomy, gross anatomy, patient behavior, etc.

What he must do in addition is make secondary and tertiary connections. This will be assisted by two things:

1) Bigger repertoire (larger knowledge base)
2) Intimacy with said repertoire

The sooner he learns and becomes intimate with the medical knowledge of ages past, the more secondary and tertiary connections he can make. It's like playing Clue. Instead of rooms, you have disease, instead of weapons you have treatment, instead of characters you have specialties (this analogy is actually a rough one, excuse the incongruencies). A simple secondary connection would be connecting of information learned in micro-anatomy (striated muscle cells in histology) with that learned in gross anatomy (muscle tissue). A more complex one would be connecting biochemistry (Kreb cycle) with liver biochemistry, organic chemistry and gross anatomy. Connecting these three with pathophysiology (2nd year Med) is still a secondary connection, albeit more complex.

A tertiary connection is a connection made between two secondary connections. This takes work. But is necessary for Step I boards. (Yeah, that's you, Daniel.)

There are some classes that transcend mere collection of information. These classes are similar in fashion: law, writing, math, to name a few. These are fundamental, but lexicon is still necessary.

Then there is history. It is a meta-analysis of sorts. In effect, it has potential for us to look at the way we look at medicine. (That's why the 'meta'.)

Ok, that being said, the BEST example is Words:

For our first few years, we learns sounds (we cooed, and giggled and ahhhed), but when we spoke intelligible words, our parent's eyes lit up and we kept doing it until we spoke. Go, ball, me, yes, NO! all single syllable items of our repertoire. And before you know it we were putting two items together in a repertoire. We were synthesizing, if you will. No remember (back when you were 2 years old) that you didn't need a large repertoire in order to begin synthesizing. It simply happened out of need for efficiency and communication. I... want ... food. The synthesis of these three items of repertoire (vocabulary words) produces a clear communication to the listener. What is less clear was the cry you emitted 1.5 years early, when none of us except our mothers could figure out what it meant, were you wet, hungry, tired, sick?

So as our repertoire of words enlarges, we can make secondary connections better: we form sentences. Then it gets more complex. We must move to tertiary connections. The idea of a sentence (secondary connection) must connect with the idea of another sentence. Why so? To be clear(er). We make connections to understand and be understood. One of the most difficult and lonely places to be is to be in the middle of a group of people and not be understood, especially when you have a need like a tooth ache or think Appendicitis in Tanzania, unless you're fluent in Medical Swahili, you're stuck.

But it get's better. Not just a mere connection of words (sentences, secondary connection of items of repertoire), but now their aesthetic, words choice, diction, all must communicate not just intellectual information but a sense, a feeling. Two examples: John, Adri. (if you want to add more repertoire, take these two as well, Christy and Lauren, they've added photos.)

Poetry and Prose, complex feelings of gratitude and humor, nebulous ideas in our collection of The Human Experience, that is necessary to share, else we would die of solitary confinement. This idea is something we all CRAVE: Intimacy, to know and be known. It is the final product of love in its truest sense:

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." - I Corinthians 13:12

Remember, looking at words and understanding its connection, we can apply that to every other way we learn information (emotional, intellectual, factual). Barry, Daniel and Drew, MUST learn their repertoire and synthesize. All of you getting your Bachelor's, you are learning your repertoire. Graduate Students must, and begin to senthesize. Parents do it inadvertently. We all do. We just don't take a meta-glance at it the way we're doing here.

Which brings us to the reception of Spiritual Truth.... stay tuned...

Priorities

2010-09-07T22:10:00.000-04:00

Priorities.

Every so often, you have to stop and take inventory.

Mine would happen between travel assignments. At the end of an assignment, I had to clean out the place I was staying and throw out the clutter, and decide exactly what I needed for where I was going. What could I not do without, and what could get tossed. Could I take my bike? Must I have this piece of equipment? On and on the list was trimmed, and I learned more than just what I could live with, but what you couldn't live without. And this happened EVERY time I switched assignments. Colorado, Alaska, Arizona, California, Vermont.

Now that doesn't only work with clutter, or home items. It has to do with emotions, and ambitions, and duties, and values. What ambitions am I just holding onto because of pride and preference, or vindictiveness or pain? What values do I have that really make a difference. And you choose what you value.

And it comes down to that all important question: what's important?

We can give trite answers, but it's the time alone, when no one is looking and the people who have the most influence on your decisions are gone or away or no longer count in your life that you get to take a deep breath and sigh. And look at that list again, and even educate that list. What values can't I live without, and what inconveniences can I live with?

So what prompted this, since I'm done with my current assignment? I'm cleaning out my apartment, my brother's coming over to visit (from California).

If you've ever loved (or found yourself close to) an INTP

2010-09-05T23:20:00.003-04:00

So, we've been told that INTP's make up an estimated <1% of the general population. How fortunate for us that Metallak found 3 of us in the same island for that week (and if the newly wed Howe's had been there, it would have made a whopping 4, almost overwhelming!).

For those of you who've ever been close to one, hit the site linked to the title of this entry. Or you can check HERE, which isn't so complete, but I'm working on it. By "close to" I mean married to, siblings of, infatuated with, interested in, work with, curious about, find enjoyable, or live in close quarters with, an INTP.

It may unravel some of the mystery of our personality. We're not as mysterious as some (INFJ) but we are systematic about it, so you should be able to get an answer out of us. We might seem a little indecisive, but it's only to maintain options, except in those instances where we have learned to incorporate the trait of being decisive and using it where we see its usefulness and efficiency.

And we love insight. So go ahead and ask a question, HERE. And take us to task. Ask us why we do such a thing, or what the reason is behind it. We're generally self aware, and if not a ready answer is available, we can think through it and give a decent first impression.

Here are two INTP blogs (apart from mine, of course): Cody, Christy - They might seem dissimilar but share some characteristics: Integrity with their values, exceptional use of vocabulary/diction/grammer, and even vernacular, insightful, among others.

Hopefully this will help you enjoy your local INTP and understand them better :-)

Sleep Deprivation: Symptoms and Treatment

2010-09-05T12:18:00.001-04:00

10 Symptoms noted in sleep deprivation:

1) Thermal dysregulation
2) Hypersensory perception of distal extremities
3) Serotonin depletion with resulting non-constructive thought perseveration
4) Reticence
5) Loss of appetite
6) Misconstruance of otherwise harmless comments
7) Failure to reason from cause to effect
8) Inefficient recall
9) Inaccurate enumeration

Treatment:

Obedience

There and Back Again

2010-09-05T02:42:00.000-04:00

21:01 Leave Youth meeting
21:26 Rest Stop
23:27 Back on the Road
23:58 Welcome to New Hampshire
00:37 Welcome to Maine
01:55 Pulled over for speeding; Let go with warning
02:35 Arrive Apartment, Augusta, Maine

Plan (subject to change)

04:35 Bring Matt to Airport
08:00 Breakfast
Sunday PM Freeport Photo Critique

Started on the road.
Finished on my Blackberry.
It's a bit of madness really.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

What it takes

2010-09-04T09:25:00.001-04:00

03:25 - Leave Augusta, Maine
05:21 - Bienvenidos a New Hampshire
06:26 - St. Johnsbury, Vermont
07:08 - Downtown Morrisville

It takes about 3 hrs and 40 min to drive from Augusta, Maine to Morrisville SDA Church. If you drive early morning, which I'm finding is preferrable.

No hurricane here. Summer showers on the way, though. And some really nice clouds to texture the sky. God is merciful. The suit's in the car. Just in time to teach Sabbath School... Here goes!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

It is the longing of the heart

2010-09-04T03:22:00.000-04:00

to be at peace with God.

The rain falls outside. They tell us that we are getting the edge of a hurricane here in Maine.
The sound is somewhat soothing, I cannot explain. My colleagues at work accused me of being pensive at work yesterday and I could not for the life of me figure this out. I felt terrible because he and I usually take turns with our usual banter and exchange fun remarks such as only those who choose to spend their career dealing with children and their obstinate parents are able. But yesterday he pointed this out to me and all I could do was acknowledge it.

Usually something like this warrants some time in my man-cave (that would actually be my whole apartment in this scenario), but after work I went to have dinner with some friends, then went straight to bed. Maybe I'll get some on the ride to Vermont this morning. After 5 years of travel I have gotten accustomed to having my thoughts to myself on long drives, but a couple of weekends ago a good friend made a quite compelling argument and gave strong evidence that company would be enjoyable for longer than 20 minutes. Generally, I will come back with my own arguments but this time I'm keeping my mouth shut. Lately I've been finding myself put my virtual foot in my mouth more often than I'm used to. A driving partner is good.

Maybe that's why hitchhikers are so much fun. Then again, sometimes the smell gets to you.

On further thoughts, every time I speak I wonder what God has for His people that day. I am aware of what He has given to me, but those thoughts are mine and personal. When the words come out, when speaking from the desk, it seems to me as if someone else is speaking, and I am but a member of the congregation, taking notes no less. And we are all learning as one scripture is placed next to another. Conviction comes as if I am hearing the sermon for the first time. It's beautiful. It is the promise of God's love for His Truth that I am counting on...

Happy Sabbath!

Crunch time

2010-09-03T22:36:00.000-04:00

8:30a - 5:30p            Work
6:30p - 10:30p          Dinner with Matt, Kaveh, Heather, Chris
10:45p - 2:00a          Sleep
3:00a - 9:00a            Drive to Vermont
9:15a - 10:45a          Teach Sabbath School - Morrisville SDA Church
11:00 - 12:30p          Speak for Divine Service
12:45p - 1:30p         Fellowship lunch

This is where it gets tricky

2:00p - 8:00p           Drive back to Augusta, Maine
8:00p - Whenever - Hang out with Matt before he leaves
3:30a -                     Drive Matt to Airport

Happy Sabbath!

Listen

2010-09-03T00:37:00.000-04:00

To Listen :

To obey.                    e.g. My son never listens to me.

To understand.          e.g. We argue all the time; it doesn't seem like you listen to me.

To pay attention to.   e.g. Listen to this!

Listen (it's about attention):

The active attention given for the purpose of reception, that a current action may be affirmed or corrected.

Influence

2010-09-01T23:58:00.000-04:00

Often times the reason that our lives are changed by the people that are introduced into our paths by Providence is because of us. WE are looking to be instructed in something better, looking for a change from our current state of being, we are looking to be elevated. THIS is God given, by the way.

More, after the jump (hit link below)...

But every once in a while, we run into people that despite our very best efforts, change us without knowing they have. And despite our resistance, just their mere existence into our sphere of awareness brings about a stunning clarification of the world around us, for it seems to be a different place by the light of this person. This is confirmed by the things we concern ourselves with that were once not a concern. Or the things we find ourselves fussing over that we used to not fuss over. Or find ourselves caring about the things we once did not care for. And that change of something more intrinsic: we find invaluable those things we once found worthless.

This is conversion in its most fundamental. Welcome to John 3:3

Re • creation

2010-08-30T17:39:00.000-04:00

recreation 1 |ˌrekrēˈā sh ən|
noun

activity done for enjoyment when one is not working : areas used for recreation such as hiking or biking | [as adj. ] athletic and recreation facilities.

Latin recreatio(n-), from recreare ‘create again, renew.’

recreation 2 |ˈˌrēkrēˈā sh ən| (also re-creation)
noun

the action or process of creating something again.

"Recreation, when true to its name, re-creation, tends to strengthen and build up. Calling us aside from our ordinary cares and occupations, it affords refreshment for mind and body, and thus enables us to return with new vigor to the earnest work of life." - Education, p. 207.1

Metallak was wonderful recreation, but it was the people that made it legendary, from the private canoe lessons with Tim by the light of two headlamps and the skipperless sailing trip with Elissa to Alban's antics on the slack line, and Cody's award winning spoon. With the memorable and (and admittedly) painful walk back to the car with the courageous Adriana (she'll downplay it if you ask her), though not as painful as the backward glance as we finally paddled away from the Island, though the food was worthy enough to be immortalized into a Metallak Island Cookbook, the people were the ones that turned the island sand into pixie dust, and the lonely island in western Maine into a piece of heaven for a few short days. So much so that the residue of the week lent delight to even the drive home all the way to Augusta .... see the culled photos HERE . Greg and Mary, we missed you both and the girls; it was very good to see David and Brittany. Nancy, we missed you, too. (and of course Barry and Christy, Paul and Petra).

Now we can get ready for winter.

Where are those Metallak Island photos?

2010-08-30T00:24:00.000-04:00

Farewell Metallak ... for now.

I imagine that a good number of you were looking for a new post to see the photos from Metallak Island....

....while it is true that I believe that consciousness is the ONLY prerequisite for clear thinking, there are limits to function. So here's a teaser. It's the second to last picture taken as Metallak was fared well, and company was departing.

The remaining organizational points are still pending:

~~1) Acquired~~
~~2) Downloaded to computer~~
~~3) Sorted~~
4) Culled
5) Optimized
6) Exported
7) Uploaded
8) Posted

Yes, we're all waiting for number 8. #4 is the limited factor. But I need to get to bed...

The Legends of Metallak Island

2010-08-24T22:55:00.000-04:00

5D Mark 2 w/ 17-40 f/4L @ 23mm, Vari-ND filter, 3Stop Hard Gradient filter, Curves adjusted in LAB

Ingredients:
6 Lombards
5 Howes
2 Gerrans
1 Allison
1 Belcourt
1 Cody
1 Kurtz
me

Add:
4 Canoes
1 Laser sailboat
1 Wind-surfboard
1 4-in-1 Rasp
1 Gouge
Various Carving knives
Sandpaper - variety of grit
Copious amounts of driftwood

Mix gently in:
Shapenotes
Beach walks
Rope swing
Michibiki
Sunset photographs
Spoon carving
Ultimate frisbee

Sprinkle generously with:
Laughter
Wit
Conversation
Gratitude
Prayer
Song
Outstanding food

And a touch of:
Extracurricular reading
Mild mishaps
Daring firewood rescues
Sprinkling
Work (just for you, Peter-Michael)
Moose chasing

Let simmer for 1½ days, with some coming and going as required by schedules. Add more adventures.
Enjoy with friends!

In a little bit, rumor has it that more ingredients will be coming:

2 Penners
1 Child
1 Sprague

Serves at least 21 with left-overs easily for later days. And a wooden spoon.

Above ingredients tasted better than this Cinnamon Roll

I had heard the various Legends of Metallak, but this exceeded them all. Maybe because it was mine.

And that's just the start …

For the first photo set, click here: Metallak Day 1

(The S90 is still out there; when it arrives, I'll post, of course)

Clarity

2010-08-22T08:44:00.000-04:00

It was so clear. And when it hit me, everything seemed to fall away and pale in importance. Not that other things weren't important. No, that's not what happened. It was simply that when the realization came home, it lent a clarity to other aspects of my life for the next 6 months.

He was not repulsive, at least by human standards. Nor was he one that drew others to regard him highly. In the Sabbath School class, he didn't show an interest above any other. In fact, his brother gave answers that others may see as insightful. Indeed they were, but that just makes this boy less so. He gave no indication of appreciation nor any kind of connection like a protégé would a mentor. His countenance marked no enlightenment at Truth, nor did his body language belie any interest. To be sure, he may have been the least interested person in the room yesterday morning.

And maybe this was the impetus to rise to the call. Not like an athlete demands the ball when there are only a few seconds left in the final quarter of the game. No it wasn't like it. It was after the class. After the Sermon in Divine Service. It was a conviction that came so heavy that I was the one called to house the light for this young man. This guy who didn't care who I was, found no impulse in himself to enjoy my company or find anything attractive or even useful in my association. And for some reason I wanted it, the way Elisha wanted his call. And I wanted this youth to get all the light God was merciful to give him.

And so the thoughts came, one after another. The call lent clarity to the next months. I put together a time frame in my mind, and my initial thought was, "God! It's only 6 months!" and slowly settled into, "God, you're going to do something in only 6 months!" This added urgency to the matter.

Now there are wagers going around the community in the Freeport/Brunswick/Topsham area that I will be staying longer than I had planned. While this may be true (and there innumerable intangible reason for me to wish it so), no definite invitations for funding resources (i.e. job) have materialized. So despite my own longings and the wishes of others, prudence dictates that I PLAN accordingly. Plans to be laid at the foot of the Master, to be carried out or set aside as His Providence dictates. (Sigh)

Though I have been accused to being overly confident (to put it lightly) in a few aspects of my life, there is minimal truth to this idea. That being said, there are few things (if any) in which I am more confident in God's Word and promises, than when I am teaching. I do not often taken human counsel in this regard. But when the call hit me yesterday, I realized then, that promises of Scripture then became more important to me than they had previously. The clarity of their purpose and my own was heightened. Why so? Because I wanted to believe in them, no longer for myself but for this young man. I wanted to hear and see them, look upon them, and handle them so that I could make them ready for reception by this disinterested young man. And a fire burns inside me. And it feels different than the ice cold calculating drive that motivated in the past. The fire seems different now. And I don't want it to go out.

What surprised me was the reason for it. I am not insensitive to the appreciation of others, in fact maybe I like it more than most (who knows). But with this young man of 16 or 17 years of age, I did not see a responsive cord. While others thanked me for the sermon and praised God for its timely message (that's what they said, I'm just reporting it), the difference with him was intangible and somehow different. He never thanked me for the hand out, and I think (jury still out on this one) that it is because his need is unrealized, but he somehow knows its presence, but is not willing to acknowledge it, and it's eating him from the inside out. And though he shows no promise of response, I cannot help but let the longing for his soul grow and foster. I cannot name it now. The word will come.

But this does not diminish my longing for the rest of the youth under my care. The rest of them sounded eager and interested and willing to engage, and in need as well, in them I see myself, in need of a Savior ... constantly. For them I am just as grateful, but if any sort of attractiveness (the attractiveness of the ladies are unequivocal) is involved the motive for duty can easily blurred. I am speaking not merely of the opposite sex, but any individual in which an advantage can be received (whether congratulatory or associative or affectionate) in ministering to the person, no matter how seemingly altruistic, the motive can reasonably come into question. But what the realization did for me, was lend clarity to even the help I would bring to the others. I wanted everything there to be purposeful and practical and enlightening to them because I want it for him. I want to be a strong Sabbath School leader, to be more fully repentant, to give them advantage because I want it for him. I want them to see Christ more clearly and be surrendered to His Truth more fully because I want it for him. I want to be set aside for this purpose no longer for my own salvation, but so he gets a chance and they do too.

And I'm not sure where all of this came from, but it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday, and lent a clarity to the work and every secular aspect of my life like nothing I can remember in recent history.

Man, I'm on fire... 6 months ... daylight is burning ... let's get to work. It starts on my knees.

Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, - II Timothy 1:9

Personal effort for others should be preceded by much secret prayer; for it requires great wisdom to understand the science of saving souls. Before communicating with men, commune with Christ. At the throne of heavenly grace obtain a preparation for ministering to the people. - Christ's Object Lessons, p.149


Canon 5D Mark II w/ 70-200 f/2.8L ISO 200 f/F 1/200s plus 580 EXII TTL + 2/3 stops NO POST PRODUCTION

Oracles

2010-08-21T05:19:00.000-04:00

So, usually I don't get myself into scheduling binds like this...
but on the second request, I had a temporary loss of focus and accepted an invitation for teaching a Sabbath School on the SAME day as bringing the Divine Service message.

Now for some of you, this may seem like a trivial item. What's the big deal, you've taught before and you've spoken before, and it seems like it would be a simple thing to bring them together and do them both on the same day.

While this is true that the activities in question might seem simple to some. Part of the difficulty begins with what is involved beneath the surface of each.

Those who present on a regular basis understand a few things about this:

1) We present only about 5-10% of what we study.

2) Sabbath School and Divine Service is not merely getting up and giving a talk. Presentation of Truth has much to do with its reception. At least Prophetic Counsel (i.e. Spirit of Prophecy) seems to think so. The way we present the Truth to others will have significant bearing on the way it is received.

3) We do not simple slap the truth down like a buffet dinner. It's more like a gourmet meal. Despite popular opinion, the teacher is not a facilitator. Neither is the preacher. He (or she, but it's my blog, I'm a he) is a dispenser of Truth, and it must be handled with the same delicacy one handles an item of inestimable value. The student and hearer must be led down a path, and the offer must be made as attractive as it truly is, and a decision must be appealed for. And a chance to change must be given.

And all this must be understood before the first scripture is put into place. The prayer at this point is different in that it is for the request of the hearers, as well as the instrument of dispensation, to have a heart softened to receive the Truth. For reception of Truth is neither merely intellectual nor emotional but Spiritual. And a Divine Spirit must attend its reception. And the question we each must ask as we teach or preach is, what in my own life would inhibit the Holy Spirit from moving upon the people?

This must happen every single time one gets up to speak or teach. Today this happens twice in a row.

Romans 15:4

Why I Travel; Why I Would Stay

2010-08-19T22:56:00.002-04:00

How people are brought together in close proximity, I cannot tell.
The logistics of bringing two together so calculated to smooth the rough spots in each other is of such high and profound complexity, it seems difficult to begin to think on it and one can only jump in its middle, when awareness comes that a mutual importance is shared.

Providence puts those within our path whom, though we may have not chosen for ourselves, God sees fit to polish our character, unbeknown to either them nor us. Only aware that abrasion or adhesion is occurring, we are completely oblivious to that polish that is wrought by both the rubbing and the clinging. A polish we could never have done for ourselves had we taken the time to plan it.

A polish that some would find brilliant and others find garish. But when asked, we could only say, I know nothing of which you speak. I only know of friendships and companions brought my way by the Providence of God. Friends I have loved and cherished, and others I have struggled to understand but for whom I find a deep care and admiration.

And though we may never come to know the depth of our influence on them, nor they ever learn our own affection and deep interest in their affairs, yet still the words are laid to rest upon the receiving heart, and thoughts are meshed, and emotions exchanged, until like two substrates, they are changed and forever altered by the contact each has made in the life of the other, no matter peripheral or direct.

Then it matters not so much how we are brought together but that the world can be a better place for the connection we had made, no matter how fleeting.

For everything else...

2010-08-18T00:44:00.000-04:00


Sleeping In

-20°F Down Sleeping Bag (on sale at REI) = $150

Canon 5D Mark II (on sale in Korea) = $2100

Sleeping on a dock to catch the morning sunrise at Camp Lawroweld = Priceless

Nothing

2010-08-16T09:39:00.000-04:00

tastes as good...

....as food to the hungry, company to the lonely, and relief to the suffering.

And yet we seem to think that diversions will draw the people.

"Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD, Behold, my servants shall eat, but ye shall be hungry: behold, my servants shall drink, but ye shall be thirsty: behold, my servants shall rejoice, but ye shall be ashamed:" - Isaiah 65:13

But about those muffins .... ;-)

Donation accepted with gratitude, despite the reviews. (5D2)

Lawroweld

2010-08-14T23:06:00.000-04:00

Sunrise at Lawroweld

Last night we watched a meteor shower at Camp Lawroweld, a Seventh-day Adventist camp in Western Maine. We got up at 3am to move to the dock, and watched the stars (and satellites, and planets and meteors). This is the sunrise.

We brought our sleeping backs and talked about all sorts of stuff. It was a great way to bring in the Sabbath.

Finally waking up after the mist burned away

Con·tent

2010-08-13T07:11:00.000-04:00

con'·tent vs. con·tent'

What you get from it depends on where you put the emphasis. Most things work this way.

Locums List

2010-08-13T01:00:00.000-04:00

Canon Powershot S90

Have you ever thought how great it would be to be to get paid to travel ... and what it would cost?

Here are the lists:

You'd love it! Being a Locum Tenens Physician, you'd get (among other things)

1) flexibility
2) to meet A LOT of people in different parts of the country
3) paid to take a working vacation to some new place
4) to choose how long you want to work there
5) to be a short-term local, not a tourist
6) to have an excuse for not knowing the local custom ("I'm not from here...")
7) to leave car payments and mortgages to someone else
8) to try new restaurants
9) different scenery
10) always an adventure

But, a Locum Tenens Physician cannot have (among a host of other things):

10) a magazine subscription
9) a book collection
8) a hobby that requires a room or a yard
7) a sailboat
6) a garden
5) patients that call me their doctor
4) a Bible Study to lead
3) a pet
2) a girlfriend

but the #1 thing a Locum Tenens Physician cannot have is

a home.

One day I will have a home, and a hobby, and yes, I'll splurge and get a magazine subscription.

"
By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.

"- Hebrews 11:8-10

Sacrifice

2010-08-11T01:01:00.000-04:00

It is one of those concepts that can be talked about and discussed until there are no more words, but will never have its humbling effect upon the heart until we have to engage in it ourselves. Only at that time does it become ours. Only then do we own it because we have purchased it with an understanding burned into our being with the fire of experience. And it leaves a scar so hot, it continues to emit warmth after others have forgotten that a fire was there. After which no one can argue with your words about sacrifice, because you do not speak them. You live them.

"And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of." - Genesis 22:2

Flight Home

2010-08-09T23:40:00.000-04:00

JFK to Portland

I always take a day to travel in between events and I try to get the window seat. This time, there were some remarkable things to see...
Some clouds formations, to be sure, but not exclusively. But land formations, and architecture, and typical Maine landscape.

Tampa to JFK, New York

JFK Terminal Hub

JFK on lift-off

Coming around a cloud bank.

What it looks like ABOVE a storm


Turmoil


Coast of South Portland

Final Cloud Farewell

It's good to be back in Maine, but the trip back was quite a ride, too!

Campmeeting Final Morning

2010-08-09T23:19:00.000-04:00

Lake Yale Dock

Last day of Campmeeting. No doubt, inspiration for the Work.

Conviction

2010-08-07T07:55:00.001-04:00

The kind that is so palpable.

The kind that makes an appeal for rededication, who no speaker has said a word.

The kind that is so wrought with self-examination it is as if no one else was around and I had shown up to camp meeting by myself.

The kind of such strength it compels to be taken home and not told, but lived.

The kind that is meant for the End Times.

And that was last night, at the BEGINNING of the Sabbath. So now the bar is set, expectations for today are that much higher...

"They crave His choicest blessings. God does not wait for the Sabbath to pass before He grants these requests."
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Florida Day 3 - Camp meeting

2010-08-04T22:01:00.000-04:00

anolis carolinensis

Arrived at camp this afternoon, this little guy was doing his push-ups and flaring his bright dewlap, when I saw him on the fence.
Apparently I interrupted his courting ritual, because he didn't do any more exertions of physical prowess or attempts a garish attraction. It could be I have that I have the same affect on my own species when they are trying to court. Who knows?

I'm on the schedule to bring the Word during morning manna at 6am this next morning, so this native Floridian is the only post for tonight. Tomorrow, The Second Angel and Christ's Betrothal. Stay tuned.

Florida Day 2 - Logistics

2010-08-03T22:24:00.000-04:00

Sometimes we spend so much time reviewing the big picture and forget that there are sundry details that must come together to make up an event like camp meeting.
Suits need to be dry-cleaned. Hand outs need to be copied or printed. People need to be shuttled from the airport. And those are just details for the speakers. Pamphlets and registration cards need to be sorted and assembled. Food needs to be arranged, not just to feed people but to teach guests how to eat better.

Another day finalizing small details and assembling the media gear to transport up the two hours to Orlando. I've known that though I enjoy logistics and trying to figure out to make things move more efficiently, it is not my strength and it would behoove me to have someone on my team who is gifted in this regard, someone like a friend of mine, Peter Lombard who is the founder of Insouciance Abroad, and of whom I am confident in his expertise. I just can't afford him right now. Oh, and I'm not a group entity. Currently I'm flying solo.

But that is just a side note to this idea of working in ministry. A know a LOT of guys who see the evangelist speak and feel the tug on their heart strings or are enamored by the romance or fantasy of leading a full congregation to the foot of the cross by some eloquent exegesis of scripture, but forget that God still continues to be in the details. Each cell of photosynthesis He must still command, when he supplies us food by the orchards and gardens. Gravity still had to work on the flakes of the manna when they fell to the earth. And our muscles must still contract as we bite down and swallow. A plethora of work in the details must seamlessly continue to come together as the hunger are fed, the poor are relieved, and the Gospel is spread. And we must remember to be faithful in the lot where we have been placed. Even if no one else sees.

"Character is what you are in the dark." - Dwight L. Moody

Oh, and this is what it looked like over Tampa Bay on the Westbound Howard Frankland Bridge. Another beautiful day in the St. Pete - Tampa area, which being in Florida boasts a whopping 360 days of sunshine per year.

Clouds over Tampa Bay

Florida Day 1 - St. Petersburg Sky

2010-08-03T00:54:00.000-04:00


Portland to New York (JFK)

August 2 started off early with a 6am flight to Tampa with a stop in New York. The mundane duties of the first day were marked by skies textured with clouds, all the way from Portland to New York.

Clouds: Beautiful (lots of photos)
Chores: Boring (zero photos)
Final Score: 5 to 0


Landing in Tampa

On the Tarmac

Driving around St. Petersburg


Closing the Day - Sunset in St. Petersburg

Catch up conversations were interspersed with lunch, and re-meeting old friends, and getting an overview of the media for the Work, suits to the cleaners, fashioning DVD's, and rendering files, while reviewing ideas on conversion and judgment and practical applications of divine truths, and making minor (and major) adjustments to the seminars for the week.

A useful day, although not quite packed with kinetic activity (of sorts). Tomorrow the work begins in earnest as handouts get finalized and more people start arriving. Virtually a long weekend. But come tomorrow afternoon it just won't stop. I appreciate the calm before the storm. For some reason, speaking engagements seem to cost a lot more emotional and physical than I imagined 8 years ago.

It was good to catch up with Cofer. Time with him is always refreshing and stokes the fire for the Gospel work. In the past 5 years, every place I go, even when I visit, I find myself enjoying it, and wondering where my next hop will be, but THIS time, I found myself, though just as excited as ever, wondering about bringing it all back to Maine. An interesting and unfamiliar sensation to be sure, I wanted to contributed, to give back for what was given me.

I really believe that if one is given advantages of any kind be it financial, physical, and intangible ones like spiritual or even refinement in deportment or emotional temperance, that possession of these do obligated the receiver to those around him who have not similar privileges.

This is the reason we congregate at church, meet with people, form a marital union, and even bring children into the world, so that we can give. It is this giving that etches fulfillment in daily duties, and underlies these with hues of meaning. And it is for this blessing of giving more, that we ask to receive, not merely for self-fulfillment.

We'll see how this all goes down tomorrow.

Culmination; Beginning in Earnest

2010-07-30T21:37:00.000-04:00

"The demands upon God are even greater upon the Sabbath than upon other days. His people then leave their usual employment, and spend the time in meditation and worship. They ask more favors of Him on the Sabbath than upon other days. They demand His special attention. They crave His choicest blessings. God does not wait for the Sabbath to pass before He grants these requests."- Desire of Ages, page 207

There is something special about the going down of the sun on Friday night.
The book, Education, states that "few think of [the result of hastening or hindering of the gospel] in relation to God. Few give thought to the suffering sin has caused our Creator." And after this statement broadened my perspective, sometimes I wonder what it must be like for God as He awaits the reception of His people on Sabbath. This side of Heaven, it must be like a temporary relief from a persistent smoldering infinite wound, as God's people have been invited to come into the presence of a Holy God, having put their sins from them. But what occupies my mind most at this introduction of the Sabbath is His work: the demands He fulfills on our request. On this day, we demand His special attention.

Each time I am asked to teach Sabbath School, I have difficulty declining, because of these previous thoughts. And when Friday night rolls around, my mind moves to the class to be taught the following morning. Throughout the week, ruminations occur and get tossed around and placed together and verses are meditated upon, and supplication is made. And though all this work culminates on Sabbath at the Sabbath School, it is truthfully the most earnest beginning in which God's Word is brought before the class for the education of the conscious and the enlistment of the will of each of us, teacher included.

This is what we do as Sabbath School teachers. And the burden becomes not one of entertainment of the hearers, but what can be done in order for the people to receive the Word that softens the heart and subdues the turmoil. And when teens are involved, the work has a particular weight, because it is this class of individuals where the right introduction of Truth is pivotal. And the need of each is seldom acknowledged in this class. As a teacher, how does one get them to see their need of a Savior?

And I am grateful for a little view of God's burden for humanity since the promise given to Adam. Essentially, God puts forth the question, How do I get them to see their need of my Son? Especially in this time of Judgment. It is then that I realize that on Sabbath, this work begins in earnest, for in order to approach the magnitude of Holiness of the presence of the Almighty God, our great need must be made apparent to us, and acknowledged by us.

How can I not give my best on Sabbath Morning? On days like this, I see more clearly that Christ is working on my behalf, to help me see my need of Him. And that His heart breaks for me when like a teenager, I refuse to see my need, even much more than my heart breaks for the people.

Sailing Final Installment

2010-07-28T17:47:00.000-04:00

So this is the final installment. I collected all the other photographer's cameras and uploaded the photos to Picasa. You can see it after the jump.

If you're wondering where I am, you can probably guess that I'm behind the camera on this particular shot (no cardboard cutouts available). Everyone was a good sport on this shot, and let me meter and do some exposure-test shots. But we got this fine group photo. For those of you in California (and Vermont and Colorado and Florida), here are the people from left to right, then the two in back and one front-most:

L-R:Matthew Farley, Lauren Lombard, Michelle Hume (white sweatshirt), Jennifer Penner, Brittany Brockmann Penner (USM sweatshirt), Adriana Lombard (orange pull-over), Eduardo, John Howe (blue windbreaker), David Gerrans, Jonathan Gerrans (green t-shirt).

Front: Becky (red pull-over)

Back row (L-R): Robin and Brandon.

The corporate solitude was very peaceful, but the combination of the motion of the ocean water, the warm sun, the gentle breeze, and the extremely good company (not to mention a cool dip in the ocean), was better than an expensive luxury cruise or a month's worth of Prozac (so I've heard, I've never actually been on it). Between the rescue attempt (go, Lauren!) of John's expensive and confidence enhancing optics, and the accidental dips in the water, and the dead spots of wind, I thought it was a huge success.

Incidentally, for the close of the Sabbath that night, we looked at Gen 28:15, a fitting text, I thought because of the ephemeral nature of many of the futures of the individuals of this voyage. But the promise was one of guidance and security where ever these guys find themselves, whether it be in Michigan, Canada, Argentina, Ethiopia, New Hampshire, or Maine. The promise is that God would not leave us until He has brought us to the Land of Promise, as He said He would.

Arrival on Whaleboat, since the S2 (they haven't named her yet), has a retractable centerboard (type of Keel) so we could slide pretty close to shore to unload people and food.

Lauren: The Photographer Poses


Jonathan: Unfortunately his the sun made his face match his shorts!


Setting up shelter. Not really necessary to have tents. Maine summer is beautiful!

Three boys pitching the tent. Leave it to the girl to read the directions :-)

No matter how remote, one commodity we can't live without (not referring to the Fritos).

David and Becky bring us to the modern era with the introduction of fire.

Our skipper makes further progress with the introduction of new fire pit architecture: the Log Cabin.

As posh as any luxury, our dining room had a hearth for warmth, but everyone congregated around the food. Of course.

Facing west we see a beautiful (albeit curious) specimen of nature, and behind them is the sunset over Portland.

Whaleboat Island Preserve (Eduardo came all the way from Argentina, Bienvenidos!)


Loading up the S2 the next morning.

Lauren to the rescue (now John can see where we're going.)

With John as the Skipper, we weren't wanting for learning experiences. Jenn takes position as First Mate to hoist the jib.


I spent a lot of time on the bow (that's the front of the boat). Better view for the lead dog, they say.

Like this... until we got further out, the water looked like this.

Some of us jumped in to cool down, some intentionally, others less so.

Towing the lonely Tripper.


Yup, that's me behind the camera again (the whole crew minus David and Jonathan).

So now, I have to go again, and again. Something about the ocean, and the salt-water smell, and the sea weed. Or maybe Gen 1:2 "...and the Spirit of God moved upon the waters ..." Yeah, that must be it.

To see slide shows go here (hit the play button on the top of the starting photos):

Lauren's Photos

Jenn's Photos

Eduardo's Photos

Some of mine and Eduardo's Photos using his camera

Off the Little Guy (my S90)

But you might have to get out on the water for it to make you want a boat, too.

Only if you want me to, Dad

2010-07-27T11:14:00.001-04:00

That was the answer of the 4 year old young man, when his father told him, "E___, you're going to get two shots today, son."

What also amazed me was the calm interaction between the two, like they were adults leaning over a bridge, discussing how the fish were biting. As I questioned the dad, I watched the boy's reaction, and he was calmly sitting in his chair looking up at the father expectantly, with an expression of trust, knowing he couldn't answer my questions but believing full well that his father would give just the response I needed.

Just this simple interactions showed me what God wanted us to be like in order to enter into the kingdom of Heaven. How often do we, in any situation unfamiliar to us, try to figure out our way, or plan our way, or complain about the situation we're in. We love to murmur, because we do it readily, often, and unconsciously. We complain about what we have to go through, our heartaches, and trials, and difficulties, yet forgetting that Christ has gone before.

How much more at peace we would be, if we could remember where God has brought us from, knowing His strength and the power of His Word, and remember the cost of suffering He paid for us, and the work He is doing now in judgment. If we could just keep these in mind, then for each situation God leads us into, calling us to go through it, we can answer like Christ in Gethsemane, "Only if you want me to, Dad."

--
Elwyn Garaza
http://www.formspring.me/elwyng
photo.net/photos/egaraza

More Sailing Photos

2010-07-25T04:25:00.000-04:00

Jennifer Penner and Brittany Brockmann Penner became sisters-in-law on May 31, 2010. It was good to see Brittany again, as she and her mom came to visit Maine last weekend for a short stent. Click HERE for the second installment of sailing photos. More after the jump. None of the photos have been enhanced, displaying Jennifer's photographic skills (ok, so I leveled out maybe 3 shots, but no color changes, or otherwise image enhancements.) - If for some reason you can't hit the jump, click on the photos to the right.

But if you want to see the rest, here are some from that weekend that for whatever reason of negligence, I failed to post. It was extended event, starting with...

Thursday, May 27, Jennifer's Doctoral Recital
Friday night, May 28, Medschool Hooding ceremony, where David and Brittany were hooded.
Sabbath afternoon lunch, May 29, Lunch with the Penners and Brockmann's at Caroline Park
Sabbath vespers, May 29, where we closed out the Sabbath and Rebekah gave a public declaration of her commitment to Christ.
Saturday night, May 29, where the boys opened up their adrenaline junkie cravings.
Sunday morning, May 30, Medschool Graduation, Brittany became Dr. Brockmann and David became Dr. Penner.
Sunday afternoon, May 30, Celebration lunch at the Brockmann's house.
Monday afternoon, May 31, David and Brittany (finally) sealed the deal.

Call night

2010-07-21T07:25:00.000-04:00

On call last night. Called in early for a 'section. Finished just in time to start rounds. It might be a long day.

Sailing through the S90

2010-07-20T20:51:00.001-04:00

Still waiting on the other cameras. I brought the little guy instead of my usual rig. We launched off Dr. Losey's backyard, on Sabbath afternoon.

John Howe skippered us to an island name WhaleBoat. Not what you'd think of when you think of a deserted island. Only some sand, and no palm trees. If you click on the slide show on the right (those of you who get an auto-feed have to actually go to the website) can see all the photos in a slide show, of those that came off the S90 until I ran out of batteries. That's the reason I'm waiting on the other cams. Eduardo from Argentina was generous enough to lend me his camera to shoot to my heart's content, well until the card got full at least. Also look out for Lauren Lombard's shots, Jonathan Gerrans and Jennifer Penner's. I think David Gerrans snuck a few in there, too.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then we must be lacking in adequate vocabulary, because here are the equivalent of 34,000 words.

First Sailing Trip

2010-07-19T04:55:00.001-04:00

Instructions:
- Review pictures
- Click to enlarge
- View John H's blog entry: Whaleboat for cartographical details and overall summary of the way we felt at the end of that day.
- Return frequently for anticipation of full post following collection of digital pictures from various other cameras.
- Leave comments.

Camerata Musica of New England - Benefit Concert Weekend

2010-07-13T01:36:00.000-04:00

Weekend was remarkable. Rich and fulfilling, refreshing and meaningful. The music was elevating and inspiring. The friends charming and warming. Here are some photos from the weekend. Click HERE for the photo samples.

Click on the Title of the blog to see the website.

Falling in Love Again

2010-07-08T01:39:00.000-04:00

She asked if I wanted to play. I thought it would be fun. So I said yes. And that's what brought me back.

When it arrived I opened it tentatively, and ran my finger across the now dulled nickel, and wondered if I had polished it often, would it shine like it did when it was new. I pulled each part out to inspect the wood, and its familiarity came back. It had been a while but I remember how my fingers were to sit on it. Apprehensively, I remembered the hours and hours adjusting tone, and embouchure, and fine tuning positions. I popped a reed in some water, and after some soaking, put it on the bocal. The sound was horrendous! I don't remember this. I tinkered and pulled and twisted, and looked down the bore, wondering if anything was hindering the sound. I did this for two days, and my spirits quickly plummeted. Was this what I was going to be playing in almost two weeks? The embarrassment alone would kill me! I tinkered some more. Finally I searched online and ordered some new reeds. Different choices, some were supposed to be the best manufactured, blah blah blah. They all say the same thing.

I ran into an obscure website. Not as professional as some, but it made an interesting claim. Additionally, this reed was hand-made. I ordered it up, along with some accessories, and hit the order button, hoping it would get here, not in time for the concert, but for me to get adjusted to it. I recalled breaking reeds in after about 2-3 sessions of 2 hrs rehearsals. The other pro reeds arrived in their snazzy padded cases, and I popped one after another on and still the sound just didn't have it. Juvenile squawk! Some thing out of a pre-beginning band. What was going on!! Weren't these $15 dollar reeds? My mouth felt somewhat familiar on the cane, and my lips went where they were supposed to, but the sound was just so ... mediocre. I dreaded the thought of plowing through several hours of rehearsing with THIS! Argh!

I had almost given up hope, and temporarily distracted by work. But that morning, one of the secretary's called the office with the announcement, you've got a package in the Augusta office ... from England. Simple, matter of fact. Hmmm. How surprising that it had gotten here so soon ... oh, yeah, we're on the East Coast now! 3100 miles from California!

But to look at this unassuming piece of cardboard was somewhat unusual. It was packed simply in a paper towel and taped together! Odd indeed. Completely home made! Amused, but not knowing what to think, I read the included slip. In it were instructions as if I had gotten a new puppy. Dr. Downing really took this seriously, you could tell the care placed on this mouthpiece. I looked closely at the thread and design, and it looked beautiful. The colors were, though not quite garish, still outspoken, not really brilliant, but completely different than any other reeds I had used. She had put together the reed by hand and the care was apparent: one reed at a time. There was a little special artistic charm in its appearance. If the other reeds were black suits with white shirts and spiffy ties, (especially the Heckel, which is synonymous with quality in terms of this instrument) then this reed from England was like a flamboyant sundress in the middle of a black tie event! At least it looked pretty.

But the image belied its value. After soaking it for 5 minutes as instructed, I firmly placed it on the bocal. Without any fanfare or pretense, the sound that came from that bassoon was so magical and warm and heavenly. It was just like I was twelve years old again, hearing the bassoon for the first time in an old run-down music room. The tone was full and husky, with languorous deep tones of the lower register, and the hypnotic singing tenor in the upper register. Without any effort, it was as if it was a new bassoon all together. What days before seemed as labored and tiring was now effortless and inviting. I played and played and played and time seemed to stop the way it does when a furtive glance catches the eye of a muse, and I wondered how this bassoon could have been left unused. I fell in love with its sound all over again. Not the kind of appreciation that is learned from something introduced by your parents or friends or advertised on TV. See, when I fell in love with the bassoon decades ago, I didn't even know its name, and I felt like I was the sole discoverer of this beautiful, magical, sound. No one else around knew what it was. And here I was, hearing it just like that first time and I was captured under it's spell all over again.

Mount Wheeler, Vermont

2010-07-05T16:10:00.000-04:00

These poisonous mountain plants, Kalmia latifolia, are scattered along the region where Mount Wheeler stands. They were originally imported from Europe for their decorative use. Although pretty to look at, you wouldn't want to ingest them, unless your name was Shine or another one of various household pets, such as dogs and cats, which apparently are not affected by it.

We found these plants on the hike Sabbath afternoon, during my weekend jaunt to Vermont. The hike was easy going, and perfect for the day. A big slab of rock marked the south and west side. I wasn't thinking when I grabbed the telephoto lens (or maybe I was too excited to want to change lenses to the wide angle. So you all are stuck with these shots.

The guys I stayed with, Nick and Damon, share a house in Barre, Vermont. One can sit, as they have, on the rock slab overlooking the valley and see the whole east side of the Northeast Kingdom, with Lake Willoughby.

Below, the Eurbin family and Jim Warman were kind enough to find this hike for us, since we were in their backyard and didn't know any place to go spend the afternoon. So after a quick lunch, we took a couple mile trail up to these rocks.

The view was beautiful, and the valley seemed to open up wider than in other places. We didn't make it to the other side to see the Lake.

It made for a perfect working (speaking/teaching) vacation. Conversation was great, and nature was beautiful, and the food was filling, and the walk was brisk.

Shine and his human, Jeff.

2010-07-04T20:42:00.000-04:00

Meet Shine. He's from Humbolt county. He was down and out, not getting walked, fed, watered or loved until he found Jeff.

After meeting Jeff, he made his way across the country. Since he didn't have any opposable thumbs, Jeff had to do all the grunt work to get them a ride across the United States. Shine took three weeks to get across the lower 48, and three whole days alone just to cross New York, sleeping among pine trees behind restaurants, whereever. Shine says that there is a science to hitchhiking like that; Jeff is his lab assistant apparently. I picked up Shine on the way out of New Hampshire, from a speaking/teaching engagement this Sabbath. Shine doesn't seem interested but he's following Jeff to a Grateful Dead concert in Oxford, Maine. That's where I left Shine to watch over his human after having he posed for me, while Jeff watched in the background.

Hmmm, meandering from place to place, job to job. Not really settling down, finding any place to sleep. Enjoying the trip. Sounds like a TravelDog to me!

Taylor

2010-07-02T04:24:00.000-04:00

Sometimes picking up a hitchhiker gives your own drive an interesting twist.
Take Taylor for instance. I picked him up on my way to Vermont about 1 week ago, when I went to clean out my storage unit in Berlin. We talked (he talked) all the way there. He was tired of just seeing trees and insisted that one day he would be famous and he was headed out of Maine to make sure of that. So the five and a half hour drive from Augusta, Maine to Burlington, Vermont, was riddled with ideas and thought's of Taylor's ideas of self-agrandizement. Just shy of perfectly amusing (if he had a better command of the English language, instead of the vernacular that teenagers commonly use nowadays, it would have been a perfectly amusing conversation), it kept me entertained and virtually shortened the drive there.

I dropped him off at Church Street. And for those of you who know Burlington, I'm sure he found it quite entertaining. When he left I slipped him some cash (he didn't have anything, and he was working his way to New York City!!) and he surprised me by leaning over and giving me a hug. Imagine my shock. Any of you who know me that it takes some time before I'm comfortable like that. I had to chuckle to myself at his generosity of affection. After all he did let me snap this photo off my G9.

It made me think about the road we travel in this Christian walk. What happens when we run into someone who is simply coming along for the ride, not because he wants to go where we are going, but because he simply doesn't want to be where he is? Although a good place to start, it also means that when he's done, he won't join you.

"But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto a perfect day." - Prov 4:18, if you've forgotten.

And if we haven't found a love for the Light for ourselves, if our destination isn't where the Way leads, we're doing what my hitchhiker friend did, and just hop out when the path isn't going where we think we want to be. It made me wish I packed my Jeep with some Steps to Christ, just in case. But it's rare to pick up people who'll go such a long way.

I don't want to be a Christian Hitchhiker. I want to make a decision to ride Christ's Word to the end of the line. All the way through Judgment Day.

Boston Teaser

2010-06-30T10:51:00.004-04:00

So a good friend of mine called the two nights ago and told me he was in town (well, really, a town just south of Boston) and was wondering what I was doing. Now you have to understand that this gentleman is one of my good friends, whom I haven't seen since 2008, almost two years ago. If you have succumbed to the Facebook craze, drop him a line here: Gospel of Health.

But I found myself driving what seemed like short hours to Boston (it's only about 3) to have dinner with this guy, and just burn the midnight oil talking in a way you just can't on the phone.

I landed in town in the middle of a Bible Study. He's doing an informal series for the local youth group, and were going through the book Steps to Christ when I arrived. And for a few short minutes, time stopped, and it was as if we had not been apart in years. The only difference is that we had more time to call each other friend and brother.

After close, we took the local youth with us to the Cheesecake Factory for a meal (I hadn't had dinner, I came straight from the office). And because one of the kids lived in the City, the vote returned with jaunt into Boston (or as it turns out, the local suburb, Copley).

So the cool thing about Boston is that there is a lot of history there. Now I had just driven to see Cofer, but couldn't help wonder about all the old buildings and what was this or that. We walked around town and talked and did low-light photography. Below is the Copley Public Library.

I stayed the night with Cofer and we talked until early morning. I Iook a quick nap and then headed back up to Maine to go to work. Check the sign (Bosten, to the left) in the lower photo. I hadn't seen my bed for almost 48 hrs. But it was good to see Cofer. (Photos taken with the Canon S90. Next time, I'm coming back to spend the day on the Freedom Trail!

Verbally Convincing

2010-06-20T20:53:00.006-04:00

There are collection of adjectives that, by their nature, cannot be used in verbal self-declaration. One that comes to mind is the word: Humble. One cannot turn to another and make the claim, no matter how simply put, that "I am humble." We do not find any truly humble person making this kind of proclamation, as if verbal convincing were necessary to notify others of that characteristic that inherently must be apparent to others without being stated.

Another example is the virtue of being lady-like. The tongue-in-cheek phrase has a ring of truth to it:

"Being a lady is such that if you have to convince others that you are, then you aren't."

This virtue of being lady-like, in a way is like humility. Another is 'modesty'. And 'righteous'. These traits are of such lofty caliber that others outside of one's self must be pointed out, if one truly is in their possession.

In a way, these are gifts that a worthy person would long to possess, but once in one's possession cannot be told to others, or else it is lost by one's own declaration of having it.

So if we really think we're humble or modest or gentlemanly or lady-like (or any character worthy of possession) ... has someone else let you know, or is it something you decided on your own?

Can any of you think of other traits like these? Please drop a comment if one comes to mind.

"…further measures of resuscitation would be futile … do you concur, doctor?"

2010-06-18T22:40:00.004-04:00

A phrase I thought was reserved for geriatric specialists, palliative care physicians, internal medicine hospitalists, and critical care docs. It hit me like I imagine a phaser gun would out of a science fiction novel. The words seemed to ram a shockwave with rippling effects through my reality.

I was called to the ER that morning. It was an infant in cardiac arrest with the paramedics doing full CPR en route, could I come immediately? The only time I've run as fast was once before when they paged the team overhead immediately to the Operating Room (unlike TV drama, an overhead page to the OR/ER is a rare occasion, pagers are generally used). But this time was just as critical, to say infants rarely have cardiac arrest is a gross understatement.

I arrived into the middle of a full code, Dr. R was at the helm. I asked where were we were in the process, and looked over to see the scribbles of epinephrine given. I looked over to see the interosseous line, and the chest wall response, but what struck me was the color and appearance of the infant. My first *Blink* response was, "we're too late, it's been too long." She could have easily been a mannequin and this could have been a mock code. I reached over to verify my instinct, and the cap refill was so delayed, I'm not sure it ever returned to its original color. The skin felt like cool rubber, not the soft resilience we anticipate the perfect skin of a young baby to be. We were in the middle of a med push, and Dr. R was checking cardiac response at interval. The guardian arrived, so feeling the current progress sufficient, I spoke with the aunt. Verbal hysteria was directed by a few well placed questions, I needed to know what could help us direct the remaining treatment with intentionality. I had nothing to give her in comfort except that the team was doing their best help the little girl's heart. I returned to the bedside to see a new tube being placed. Cardiac monitors still erratic with artificial heart beat wave forms. All the meds had been tried, we were running out of options. We couldn't even attempt electrocardioversion, her heart was so unresponsive. I recounted the history of the morning with Dr. R, and we reviewed our options. I asked a few questions whose answers satisfied me that everything had been tried. I looked up at the clock, and it had just been over half an hour. Reviewing everything that had been attempted, at the best case scenario, this baby had been receiving CPR for over an hour and a half. Worst case scenario, her brain had not received oxygen for almost 3 hours. She should have grown up without any complications. Her history was clear except a slight premature birth. She should have learned to crawl in 7 months, learned to walk in about a year like they all do. Learned to say no, and take piano lessons, reduce fractions, parallel park, and make it to a prom. All before she leaves her doctor's practice.

So when Dr. R posed the question, I realized that I was the second doctor. I looked around the room, and I was the youngest man there, and the only other physician. Despite the seasoned experience of the respiratory therapist securing the airway, and the dignified gray haired gentleman who was a physician's assistant coming to run a case by Dr. R, it was incumbent on me to agree with Dr. R's decision that enough had been done. I thought, well, maybe I only hoped, this was for other people. Even the crash c-sections in the past had all resuscitated well, and with a little work and my very able staff, they came back to see me. But the question was posed, "… further measures … futile … concur?"

I knew the probability of survival was low, but this wasn't a geriatric patient with multiple MI's or a PE we were talking about. From the phone call until now, I had bent my mind with such determination to make the next step in attempt, reviewed where we had been, sparring almost, with Dr. R, to make sure we had taken the right course, then probing my repertoire of options to synthesize another endeavor. I remember stepping from the charting nurse's clipboard to assure myself of the attempts made, then spinning a slight left to face the monitor, seeing the flat line when the cardiac response was checked, and in my recollection a blur. Then the words. Futile? Concur? And realized that we had been trying, as a team, for more than ninety minutes.

Until then, we had been speaking with each other and our team members with the efficiency and clarity that comes with a focus of urgent duty, but when Dr. R turned to face me with the question, it sounded like someone else was speaking, like I was in myself but somehow different, almost an auditory blur. Everyone else seemed to fade out of consciousness, and it was just the two of us in the room, deciding if we were done. It took a little time to have it sink it.

My options had run out. My response was weak, not because I was unsure of my duty as a doctor, but because my mental movement had been clipped. I was being asked, essentially, to concur that we had run out of options, that each contingency plan had failed. It was this fact I found so exhausting about stopping a code. The futility was draining. My words, "I concur" were an acknowledgment.

After today's events, I couldn't just leave it at that. It occurred to me, as God had often used the analogy of healing with that of our redemption, then today's efforts are a marked comparison to these end times. Maybe two thousand years ago, we were cripple and blind. But today, we're crashing and about to flat line. The gentle touch that would heal a despairing soul, Christ now replaces with the urgent direction of an almost desperate Physician. Desire of Ages tell us that though some methods may seem harsh to us, there is no other way to arouse us to our condition. The extreme measures He takes with us we must see as an indication of the dire position we are in, to the extent that only God can see. Why must He afflict us with pain, why must we endure this loneliness, why must we face the harsh censure of the people he places in our path though they may claim to be Christian? He does these acts not out of a desperation of His own inadequacy, but out of a desperation bred from our own inability to see. If we could only see our failing heart and cooling limbs, we would let Him have His way with us in every aspect. Oh, our arrogance as a people, as a race, a denomination! Oh, if we could know that God is running the code for our resuscitation, for our redemption. And it may not be the gentle endeavor our crippled minds wish to perceive. If we could only see the costly effort Christ is putting into our salvation, not just at the cross, but even now in the heavenly sanctuary, we would trust Him a with reciprocating desperation.

So maybe it hurts now. Chest compressions hurt. And maybe it's painful. Intubation can be painful. And maybe we're crying tears no one else can see and we don't understand. Then now is the time to believe like no other, because we're coding now. But Christ is at the helm.

Romans 8:32 - He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

I want to ask God for a faith that only He can give.

Retro Vol. 2: Road Trip from California to Maine, detour Vermont

2010-06-14T00:43:00.006-04:00

Dad, this one's for you (Don't forget to click on each picture to see it bigger.) Instead of the common I-40 route to trek across the Lower 48, I took the less traveled I-15 to I-70 across to Upstate New York, then state highways to Maine (Via Vermont, you'll see why on a later post). For the first day (of 4), I took my time, miscalculated my pace and allotted time, and consequently took a mild stroll through some of the more picturesque parts of America, west of the continental divide.

Above you'll see a plateau found in the central-eastern part of Utah, while driving on the I-70 after the Spotted Wolf Canyon, and before Grand Junction. The purplish color of the dirt was quite notable and made quite a convincing argument to pull over and squeeze the trigger. Great photos are all about the light and this one was in part due to the fantastic light of early morning. For those interested: Manual Settings: 1/125th seconds, f32, ISO 800, at 140mm using the 70-200mm f/2.8L IS on Canon's 5D Mark II, Circular Polarizing Filter.

Although that was probably the most remarkable shot. I did get to see some other fun things on the way. Below is the Hoover Dam, coming from the east side on Hwy 93, in Nevada. I found myself mistakenly on the I-40, so I had to turn around. Y'know how it is in the desert, you can go for miles without a place to make a legal U-turn.

Canon 5D Mark II with 17-40 f/4L at 17mm. Manual settings: 1/320 second, f16, ISO 400. Quite an elaborate structure. If I had more time, I would have taken the tour. You can probably guess by the photo, that this route set me back some considerable amount of time.

After the first photo, and before Green River, Utah, one comes across this beautiful curving road. I had to pull over for the signs and take a quite snapshot of this notch, the Spotted Wolf Canyon. The dirt is remarkably red, and Springtime has the added benefit of contributing other colors to the rich hues of the rock.

Manual Settings: Canon 5D Mark II, 70-200mm f/2.8L IS at 140mm, 1/125 sec, f22, ISO 1600, Circular Polarizing Filter.

The final photograph did not mean that there were less opportunities to photograph compelling countryside. It simply meant I was pressed for time, as I recalculated estimated arrival times, and figuring in time to drop by Vermont, and fax some paperwork for my Medical License (or else I would be driving to Maine exclusively for the wedding), and then deciding what time to arrive at the Howe's on Friday night.

Here is the view right before Grand Junction, Colorado. The clouds make the photo, but the open green doesn't hurt much either.

Manual Settings: Canon 5D Mark II, 17-40mm f/4L at 29mm, 1/250 sec, f22, ISO 400.

From Denver, it was a longer, faster push, with Rest Area naps, and eating at Chevron Foodmarts. If I only had a TPN and a catheter, that would have helped. Traveling in Spring made a lot of it bearable, since the flowers were out, and Spring rain means skies beautifully textured with clouds. Iowa actually had some wonderful examples of these, but again, I ran out of time. And of course, Upstate New York, and all of New England were invariably scenic as well.

Next time, I'm taking a week!

Retro Vol. 1: Road Trip from Vermont to California, detour Virginia

2010-06-10T22:22:00.010-04:00

It's raining in Maine, so I thought I'd catch you all up to what happened after the Maple Syrup ran and my finding new homes for my gear in Augusta. The most significant part was a detour from my California drive from Vermont, to stop by and see Hartland Institute, where Matt is attending the modern day Schools of the Prophets.

The 100 plus acre compound boasts several lakes, one of which is this picture, close to the sun going down. I arrived at the main building [first photo] where services are held, the library is housed, and the students are fed. While waiting for Matt to be retrieved by the helpful attendants, I found him playing the lumber jack below and doing his share of manual labor, making sure the students have enough cords of wood to last the upcoming winter.

We spent that afternoon chopping wood, and adjusting my body to the motion and balance required to wield an axe, and split felled logs. Matt was gracious enough to not poke too much fun, but he did have a good laugh at my inability to lay the axe head straight down the center. It's a good thing wood burns no matter what its shape.

The grounds are lush and since it was Spring Time when I came to visit, everything was green. Despite the photographs, I didn't carry my camera everywhere we went. I left it in the room when we went to knock on doors, and when we went to church. Pastor Restrepo, the new President Elect, was on campus for the Week of Prayer that he was giving. I had a chance to see Matt's every day routine, even sitting in on an A&P class he had to take on Friday morning. It was enjoyable, but Matt would not take the answers I was trying to feed him underneath my breath as we reviewed Cardiac Output, and rudimentary heart physiology.

Sabbath morning we took a short walk around the front lakes, and captured the morning light on the foliage. Matt was ever exuberant, and brought a fresh joy to Sabbath, despite the early morning fog and chill. The diffuse light made some of the angles look quite beautiful.

My initial plan was to stop by for lunch and a quick refreshment, and see and chat with Matthew. One thing led to another, and I ended up staying four days, hearing 3 sermons, helping out in Sabbath School, and giving a late night Bible Study in one of the dorm rooms they put me up in, and some camera time to boot. I also saw some friends I knew from the speaking circuit when I was in London back in 2007. Amazing how everything seems to be connected. But before I knew it, the short-lunch-turned-long-weekend was already up and it was time to repack my gear and make the 2400 mile trek to California.

Thanks, Matt. The time spent was profitable. I'll come by to see you again, you're only 10 hrs from Maine. A relatively short jaunt.

Finding Homes (for the stuff)

2010-06-07T20:23:00.003-04:00

Today marked the arrival to the new apartment and new assignment: Maine General Hospital and Kennebec Pediatrics. Tomorrow starts the routine of picking up the pager, taking the hospital tour (they'll show me useless stuff like the Cafeteria, without showing me useful stuff like how to get a radiograph read after hours), having my photo taken for the ID badge and security clearance, EMR review, and clearance codes. In the afternoon I finally get to see kids. But this evening......we find new homes for all the gear.

Above is a picture of my new townhome/apartment with the contents of my Jeep emptied out on the living room floor. Don't worry, Mom, there is a full service kitchen. Daniel and Byron, there is enough room to house more people that at Mid-Week Prayer meeting. We'll see how that goes.

But included in all the wood paneling, floor molding, and wooden furniture is (finally!) working high-speed internet access, and a dry erase board! Now for all you faithful readers of this obscure blog, I can finally catch everyone up to speed (because the last time you all checked, it was maple syrup season in Vermont).

Oh, and for all you low tech (pen and post-it) people, you can actually leave comment below, just leave your email or postal address. And if you haven't figured out, you can click on the picture to make it bigger.

Maple Season

2010-04-04T11:03:00.007-04:00

This time of year, when the nights are still below freezing but the days are now warming up above freezing, maple syrup tapping season. Maple syrup itself comes in different grades of quality that are distinguished not only by the clarity of the syrup, but the by the taste that is tinted by almost a burnt flavor in the lower grades. You can see the samples in this photo of the various grades that can be collected and processed.

For the last several hundred years, this has been an enterprise here in New England, where tubes were tapped into trees and collected into buckets for the collection of sap that is made into the kind of syrup that is distinctly maple.

Up until as recent as around 1985, buckets were still being used to collect maple sap. Reminiscent of a time more nostalgic time, where winter was marked by sleds, and wool mittens, and ice fishing, this photo shows the end of winter and welcoming of spring when collection of buckets, depending on the size of the enterprise, could range from a few taps to several hundreds.

But now technology has allowed tubing to attached to a network of trees and vacuum assistance helps in pulling the sap from trees into a main line, similar to tributaries adding to the flow of a river that winds itself down to the ocean.

The main sap line is a conduit that allows the collected sap to be brought to the processing shed where it is boiled and purified to its different grades. Maple syrup season runs until Spring time and is marked with the budding of the maple trees, which if tapped, taint the syrup with a bitter taste.